Friday, November 20, 2009

Wedding blues

I was just commenting to Mr Jang yesterday that I am indeed getting a little nervous about the whole wedding thing. Now that the mega event is over, all that is left between now and the actual ceremony is my exams (which will be over soon). I am starting to feel how real this whole thing is.

Really didn't help that the first call I received from him this morning has to do with my worst fears about the ceremony and marriage in general - clashing traditions and unhappy in-laws.

I suppose I did overreact a little. To me, this has long-term implications - never mind the fact that he thought i) I'm frustrated because I don't like/can't deal with change, and ii) I'm being jumpy about things that haven't actually happened.

I must really explain that i) I can deal with change, but not change that arose from some inexplicable reasoning because I have to know if I were to expect more changes and plan within them, and ii) the mini sensing unit in me does foresee that the issue probably will not end here, just like how I've foreseen that this mini crisis will happen despite us having discussed and agreed on this before.

And my conclusion to this is that I now totally agree with the saying that marriage is not just about the two of us anymore. And perhaps, this adds on to the frustrations because I've always lived my life in a very independent way. Now, I've really got to learn to put down that self-centredness and be a good wife, daughter-in-law, and in future, a mother. No time to think if I'm ready to take on the roles. There is only one way out - just do it, and hope for the best.

Wragh.

(Special thanks to xin who answered my frantic call this morning and calmed my nerves, to Mom who assured me that she is flexible with the arrangements and she will help handle my Dad's expectations if necessary, and to Mr Jang who probably experienced the worst morning from being the messenger, and being stuck between demanding parents and a crying fiancee).

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