This morning when I woke up, I saw that Mr. Jang has once again helped me plug my iPad2 in the charger. On normal days, my towel, which I usually hang on the dining chair to dry the previous night, would be in the bathroom so that I can just stumble in from a groggy sleep and take my morning shower. My bedroom slippers would be within reach of my feet.
I'm not ungrateful for all the sweet deeds. In fact, I think I have a wonderful hubs. But?
Two days ago when I was whatsapping my girlfriends Happy V-Day, a sense of nostalgia swept over me. I missed our secondary school days where the excitement builds up way before, we discussed what we or our classmates might be getting from 'steads', we went all bright-eyed and giggly. As Hwei put it aptly, the excitement and innocence of V-Day... and now it's like so nothing!
I didn't have many relationships before. No.1 was really out of curiosity. I broke off with No.2 because it felt too much like friends although people said he really liked me then. Surprisingly, I had the longest ever ding dong with No.3 although it swung from fun times to big fights and back. It tugged at my heart the most. (Disclaimer: I do not miss any of them in the romantic way.)
Life is good now. I'm married to a great guy and I really can't imagine life without him.
Perhaps, I am just missing that adolescent, hit-you-in-the-gut kind of feeling now. Perhaps, we are too old for that. Or are we?
How to balance the steadfastness and security of a friend with the passion, mystery and wonders of a lover? Can we have our cake and eat it?
Tell me I'm not alone in this.
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