Resigned

Paid back my work debts after the long leave and ended up leaving the office at 10pm.

 

The highlight of Day 1 back to the office had to be.... my resignation. I was rather sad because I had grown to love this job, including all the tight deadlines which I have gotten used to.

 

And there is still so much to learn. While I'm looking forward to another phase in life and moving to a place where life would be much slower, I'm going to miss walking with a purpose, stretching myself to the max and learning new things every day at work.

 

But who knows? My life thus far has been full of pleasant surprises (thank you Lord) and I await the next challenge God is putting me up for. In the meantime, faith, patience and obedience.

 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

 

Amen!

 



 

Interrupted Mr. Jang's in-flight movie nidway to take pic.
Loved the transition from frown to forced smile. Ha.

Inspiring lives, realising dreams.

With the event mascots on the last day of the event. Check out the eye bags that came with the 3hrs of sleep per day week! 

My poor paint-stained "brokenstock" after days of walking, climbing stairs and tripping over paint brushes.

We did it! Over four consecutive days we reached out to close to 90 low income families to help their children create a more conducive environment to study, so that they can concentrate on getting a proper education and take one step closer to realising their dreams and ambition.

Personally, it was the toughest event ever (not even APEC can match it) because I was the overall planner and coordinator for internal comms, scheduling the video crew and photographers and producing daily coverage on the website until post midnight. Thank God for my hardworking intern who slogged it out with me at the base and in the office (and also for 2B for her help in getting the interviews and vetting our content). I was quite pleased with the results and grateful that the coverage was rather well-received. Our efforts have not gone into waste.

One of the more touching moments for me during this event was when my "students" from the earlier camp recognised me and gave me bear hugs (yes I was covered in paint!) and big smiles when I visited their homes. I realised truly what it meant when my dad told me "people might not remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel." Even though I had to drag myself out of bed early on Saturday for that camp, I found that it really pays to make that effort and make a difference in these children's lives. They may not remember the money concepts I've taught them, but they remembered that someone care enough to teach them that day.

In another 2-3 months' time there is a possibility of me not being with the current company anymore. It's really a short stint but I enjoyed the portfolio while it lasted and am glad that I made some good friends there. Every job is an opportunity to grow wiser and better in developing skill sets and handling interpersonal relationships. I hope my colleagues have also found me a pleasant colleague to work with. :)

A night. Packed with action.

Was helping out at Fel's event tonight and was expecting a straight foward event - simple registration duties, taking note of a couple of figures, distributing game sheets and door gifts. Little did I expect that it would be a night filled with drama:
1) Fel cut her finger really badly when she caught it in between the glass door (a spoilt one) as it swung shut. It was literally like a murder scene. Blood was splashed against the glass, dripping down her wrist on the floor and staining the registration table. I think her nail was also split open by the impact. She was ever so calm (like she always is) and I was practically fainting inside. Wanted to get the first aid box but it was beside the stage and the event has already started with Min as GOH. Ran to a nearby shop and nearly screamed for help ("Sorry!!!! First aid, first aid!!!!!!!"). Managed to bundle up her finger together with Yv then gotta redo it again an hour later cos it was just bleeding so badly. She only went to see a doctor after the event is over. Boy, is she my heroine.

2) Saw my former colleague who was there to support Min (I miss them so much!)... it was such a nice surprise cos I didn't expect to see him at all though I did wonder who will be coming down and if I'd know him/her since I was in CS for so long. It's so cool that we are at the same work event together, even though we ain't colleagues anymore!

3) Overheard that someone has fainted while taking part in one of the night's activities. Saw his pale looking face when we changed Fel's dressing at the room beside the hall. Wonder if any media has caught that dramatic moment.

It was still overall a good event - one that I enjoyed despite being really tired by the end of it. I think what makes me feel great is that for the first time since coming, I feel a sense of team spirit. For me, this is what makes me want to stay in a work place. Great colleagues and team work definitely make work fun and worth the effort.

Goodbyes

It was Irys' last day with us at the office on Friday. Although I've only known her for 9 months (we came in at the same time last year), I felt rather attached to her because our characters are quite alike and she is one of the very few people in the office I could truly talk to. That common background from the civil service probably helped... Though there are still nice souls around the current organisation, it is a totally different culture out here. Definitely competitive and not the cosy, family kind of environment from my previous jobs. I will miss her loads! Bye bye girl and hope you will continue to shine in your new job! :(

On Friday, we also said goodbye to the old office in town as we will be moving into a swing space in the wild wild west for the next two months while the current office undergoes renovation. I am actually quite glad to be moving out of the old office, because the place was really getting a tad cluttered from all the stuff handed down from the previous generation of predecessors. It was a painful process of packing and throwing out stuff though and there were quite a few human casualties - poor Irys, in her last few weeks with us, suffered a nose bleed from all the dust from the packing, and I cut myself on the finger from a broken painting. I really hope we can keep the new office tidy!

"Surprise!" says God.

"I sent you an email. Read it before you open the letter," B said.

I said a timid "OK" before turning to my comp. It was bonus day (or so they called it) and bosses were handing out letters. But he joked that some of us might need to start packing our bags after opening our letters.

I am about six months into the job and I still haven't received a confirmation letter/email yet. Although HR said no news is good news (meaning confirmation might have already happened without you being informed in this company), the worrisome part of me still went "oh no, is he going to explain why he can't confirm me due to headcount freeze/restructuring etc?" :/

The email read something to the effect of B thinking I did a good job during the short time I am here, and he wants to reflect that in my salary.

I did a double-take when I saw the new figure in the letter. Not because it is a sky-high increment (it isn't), but because it is much more than I expected, given that it's supposed to be pro-rated (if any at all). And certainly it is more than what I think I deserved.

Am once again amazed by all the wonderful surprises God is giving out from time to time. Deeply humbled, and very thankful.

Month of the travelling roadshow

I feel like I have aged 10 years in the past three weeks. While most people are having a relaxed January getting back into the swing of things after a good December break, I was practically pulling my hair out doing my first ever CEO roadshow. Twenty-one (!!!!) sessions of roadshow with over 3,000 people in total spread across 5 different locations in 9 days within 2 weeks, with sessions starting as early as 8.10am (for registration) and ending as late as 8.30pm in the evening. Four laptops for registration, 24 MAs for rostering, 2 boxes and 20 clipboards for over 950 exit polls. Consolidating daily attendance and doing data entry concurrently at night when I reached home. Arriving at the venue by 7am almost every morning then worrying about 2B who was holding onto 2 lappies but was perpetually late due to traffic jams (bad accidents!)

How did I survived?

And it was probably due to the lack of rest that my cyst problem came back. Have two additional stitches on my face now, on top of the first one. Scarface X 2.

In the midst of all the madness, thank God for providing help in the form of very helpful and diligent MAs (ok most, not all - there was one who made me wonder if he was trying to escape from his duties and was only there for the food). And then, a surprise awaited me on the second last day of the roadshow. When I came back to the office, my colleague grinned and pointed to the table.

It was a handwritten note and a hamper from none other than CEO.

"Dear Grace

With just four roadshows left and Chinese New Year approaching, I want to thank you for managing the roadshows so diligently and to wish you and your family a happy & successful year of the Dragon

恭喜发财 (in ang moh handwritting)

Alex"

Heart melts. And even if it's just a regift (which is likely so cos I don't think CEO will really go and buy a hamper just for his staff), it was really a very kind gesture of appreciation.

Praise the Lord for His never failing providence, grace, comfort and encouragement.

Birthday log cake! :)



Colleagues gave me a birthday log cake and $40 Capitaland vouchers as birthday present today. Yes, another chocolate cake! Yippie!

To be honest, it was a little awkward cos my new colleagues (except for Irys!) are all quite serious and I thought this birthday celebration felt more like a birthday SOP rather than a genuine celebration. But I really appreciated the gesture and the thought that went behind buying the cake and the vouchers. The cake tasted super yummy (belgium dark chocolate!)

I sincerely think that it is important to have more get togethers like this. It's important to build a culture that is not solely focused on work alone. We are all humans behind the computers and emails afterall.

Hopefully, there will be more occasions for us to get together like this, not just for birthdays or Christmas. A comfortable and welcoming office environment - that's what makes people want to come to work.

So bosses, take the lead and make the difference!

Overseas work trips rock!

I am on the executive floor of Langham Place, lying on the bed in my bathrobe with a specially requested green tea scented pillow beside me, ready to take me to the sweetest dream of dreams. I just had a nice, hot bath, pampering myself with the body scrub while watching the news on the plasma TV at the same time through the glass window. And tomorrow, tommorrow I will enjoy my quiet breakfast at the lounge which has a not-too-spectacular-but-good-enough view of the Mong Kok area.

I am throwing all thoughts of discontinuing with this job and finding other one out of the full length glass window... for these three days.  For now I will just concentrate on enjoying the perks of this job.

(P/S: oh yes... of course of course I find the course useful but that's not the main point...)

Breakfast at executive lounge Club L.

This post-it from the hotel brought a smile to my face. Yes, we need to locate our button and shut down. 

Be the miracle

From The Straits Times, 10 September 2011

Read the above this morning while I was having buffet brunch at Ku De Ta, MBS SkyPark. Love the fact that I can just print screen ST articles via iPad, but don't think I can do this any longer unless I start paying for the app - convenience comes at a price.

Anyway, one of them was making a point along the lines that bosses should give time off to staff who does voluntary work, so that they can feel less stressed about the work load. In reality, I am sure no one will feel less stressed after taking time off; on the contrary, you feel more stressed cos the work will just pile up while you are gone and when you come back in the office, you face a mountain of items to follow up. That's how the working life is.

But should this deter people from volunteering? Apparently not. From what I see in the new office, there seems to be no lack of volunteers for the whole range of CSR activities. In fact, I have just taken part in my first volunteer activity today to celebrate mid-autumn festival with old folks, and from my observation, most of the volunteers are quite seasoned and they maintain a strong passion to serve.

Personally, I think being involved in voluntary work, or any other meaningful activity for that matter, helps to put things in perspective. For one, it's good to have a sense of purpose outside work. You feel accomplished when you see that you have made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small. Two, when you are around the underprivileged and see the circumstances they are going through, you feel all of a sudden that your problems are actually quite... insignificant.

The folks whom I met today... well, some looked really old and might not be around next year. But I sense their gratitude for the event which we organised for them. I sense their joy when a couple of them started dancing at the side during the KTV session. And I want to thank them, for making me feel that I have helped make them happy, even if it's only for half a day.

In Bruce Almighty, God challenged Bruce: "Be the miracle." I realised that miracles are not BIG things that happen everyday; it's the small things that people overlook. And you will never know what big things a small smile can do. And hence, no matter how miniscule a role my voluntary work is, I am challenging myself today - to be a miracle in someone's life.

Bye, Karishma! :'(

Saying goodbye to wonderful intern, Karishma, who has been such a great help in my first week at the new office. Don't know how I would have done it without her patiently guiding me through the endless technical procedures in getting the internal comms things done. Mind you, she is only 19 and she is already functioning like a full-time staff within a short time frame of 3 months. I am totally in awe of her capabilities!

Thanks for everything, Karishma. Here's wishing you all the best for the new semester... You can certainly go far, girl!

Updates

I should really be writing about my new job, how it's been like having gone through two full days of intensive learning and on-the-job training. But putting it down in words would make it sound rather depressing - what with ending my first day of work close to 11pm, and being already in operation on my second day. On the bright side, I felt really encouraged by the fact that I am still feeling positive about the whole experience. I am getting a taste of what I wanted. Good or bad, I know I will persevere.

Like what one of my church friend said, "Give God a free rein in all that we are. Don't shortchange God and limit Him with our sins, prejudices, doubts and fears. Let's experience His fullest this week!"

Work aside, I want to pen down some thoughts regarding the recent Italy trip. The weather was superb and the amazing summer sale took our breathe (and savings) away. But above it all, it was really the quality time spent with hubs that made the whole trip unforgettably fantastic. It was pure sweet fun, us not having to worry about the pile of work waiting at the office when we get back from our leave (though we did joke about not having a job when we come back). I think I haven't had such a good time since God knows when. I guess what I really want to say is, nothing beats the feeling of being with someone you love undistracted. I hope that as I start on this new job, I will remember to take it easy and not let work take over my life like how it used to be. I know I really have to put into practice this personal choice of family above everything else, and I pray that God will grant me the strength to overcome those bad habits of mine!

Who likes saying Goodbye?

Our MSO left us two weeks ago to further her studies. Although she worked with me quite closely for more than half a year, I realised with a tinge of sadness that I didn't grab the opportunity to know her better. I didn't know, for instance, how many siblings she has at home, what she likes to do in her free time, and what her dreams are. I realised that very often, I get so caught up with work that all I ever do is to talk about it. "Is the submission ready?" "How many awards are we giving out this year?" "Have we settled the issue with the caller?" "Can you help check on this?"

I failed terribly as a supervisor and a colleague. And unfortunately the realisation only hit me as she was saying Goodbye.

Maybe, that is the reason why people hate saying Goodbye. This is the time when you realised, or are reminded, of the good things that surround you but never have the heart to appreciate. This is the time when you wish you had taken more time to enjoy things that really matter, like good company. This is the time when you hope that you will have a chance to relive that experience all over again, with thankfulness in your heart.

And as I await my own turn to say Goodbye, to face my own mixed feelings of excitment, nervousness, nostagia, gratitude and uncertainty, I want to remind myself that good things don't come easily, just like good colleagues and good bosses, and how blessed I am to have worked with them.

Goodbyes are never easy, both for the one who is leaving and for those who are staying behind.

打气打气！

Not sure if it is a good or a bad thing but I find myself increasingly placing less priority on work. Like, I was hoping that I could find a paper over the weekend but the need to do some church-related stuff and the desire to spend some time with hubs and in-laws overweighed the guilt of not starting on that paper which should have been done last week. That is on top of knowing the fact that I would probably be swarmed with two speeches and other overdue matters this week, and that I will be taking leave on Friday and next Monday. Argh. I am so dead.

Maybe I will just lunch in for the rest of the week and try to work as efficiently as I can.

加油加油！

just another random day

Had a so-so day at work. Simply couldn't concentrate cos of all the emails that are flying everywhere and the follow-ups that need to be done. In the midst of all the mess, thank God I had sane colleagues to rely on, not-so-sane ones to laugh with/at, and just sufficient energy to get through the day. Indeed, Jesus is the rock!

(Did this in class today. Suppose to practise for children's camp two weeks from now. Haha. Am such a "sucker" for these things. Oh when will I ever ever grow up!) :)

By me:


By Mr. Jang (yes this big man loves hearts):

The wind of change at work

I don't think things could have been more dramatic. Within a short span of three days, I received news, piece by piece, that all of my bosses except one are moving to some other places. It's like sitting at home on a sofa and watching as a hurricane blows first your roof top and then the second storey away.

I don't think my heart can drop any lower, cos for all the stuff I have said about work, the frustrations and all, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely think that they are nice people despite giving us a lot of work.

Sigh.

And I think Boss knew especially that once she is gone, I will be planning my Great Escape (Part 3). No more Boss to keep an eye on me or advise me to stay on. Should I make my move finally, and will I get third time lucky?

I am feeling anxious, excited, worried, resigned and a bit spaced out at the same time. Hmmm...

Mission failed again!

And so, to cut the long story short, my second attempt at The Great Escape plan failed... am feeling a tad sad that I didn't accept it in the end (and I know I will forever be wondering what if I had?)... but having said I am not giving up totally and am still staying open to whatever opportunities that may come.

I was encouraged by Faye the other day. James 1: 6-8: 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

I have sought the Lord's directions through praying, talking to family, and listening to advice. Now I shall learn to believe and not doubt the decision. Jiayou jiayou!

confessions of a young (?) workaholic

The past month has been crazy. And I mean crazily crazy. I was practically working non-stop day and night (yes, I managed to squeeze some breaks in-between but all I could remember was me with the laptop, the laptop with me, me with a whole lot of newspapers, a whole lot of newspapers with me). I vaguely remember having proper dinners, probably because even when I was having them, my mind was on the 101 things that I haven't finished or even started doing at work. The only think that I could remember was that thankfully, I got my butt out of the chair and jog a bit on a regularly basis.

Ok, I know. My workload is probably not the heaviest, I am probably not the hardest working one, there are a million out there who are doing more and working harder, and so I don't know why I am feeling grouchy. I really don't know... perhaps the frustrations of feeling that sometimes, the work that we do is not as value-adding? that sometimes, I am questioning the rationale and the need to do certain things? Heck, a lot of things. And perhaps, the meaning of why I joined the organisation in the first place is slowing fading away.

Don't get me wrong. I love working. I love the adrenaline of working towards something and the sense of satisfaction I get when I accomplished an assignment, like the one which has been handed down to me when my colleague suddenly resigned earlier this month. Love knowing that I gave my all to what I did. So again, I ask myself, "Hey woman, what's wrong with you ah? Early menopause?"

The search for answer is killing me, as I wait in suspense on what I would do next. It's like I don't know myself anymore... It's like swimming in fast currents without knowing where I will be going or more importantly, where I want to go. Should I just follow the flow or attempt to head towards another direction? I may only find the answer when I look back a fews years from now. In the meantime, the urgent task at hand is to keep my sanity as best as I could.

weirdo me

Because FB account has been "infiltrated" by loads of colleagues, I feel that I can only air my work-related grievances here. But this is going to sound really weird.

I am utterly frustrated and unhappy that I have to burn my weekday evenings and weekends for 4 consecutive days for piles of silly work that I have to do. I have been working non-stop since Wed. I haven't exactly talked to hubs, my mom (who's been here since Thu) or my sis for the entire 4 days. But on the other hand, I feel secretly proud of the fact that I have produced 2 CL speech (+submission), 1 EL speech (+submission), 80% of a "research" report, and 40% of a write-up over this short span of time. And I really feel that the quality of work is already done to the best of my ability.

And in the meantime, I am still harbouring thoughts of seeking a 出路。Working in the currently org is like being with a boyfriend who makes me feel secured, yet I don't know if I love him or not... but I do feel guilty cos the family members are really nice to me. And they are trying to make me feel reassured by telling me that marriage is on the cards.

Should I break up with this boyfriend, and go out to the unknown? A senior whom I spoke to outside the toilet the other day said he/she recommmends me to do so. They always make it sound like there are a lot of big, bad wolves out there, he/she said, but it is not true.

So, boyfriend boyfriend, we patch back for a while but is our relationship meant to last? I really don't know. Any maybe I really want to find out if I can last outside without your love and protection. And admittedly, I am scared that the thought, too. Being with you just give me too much of a sense of stability that I know I probably won't find elsewhere.

Sigh. And that's why they said love and relationships are complicated matters.

A little setback, a little motivation...

A couple of months ago, Boss told me during my work review that my host min has given me a B+ (which is supposed to be very good). Today, Boss told me that I have been given a C after the ranking exercise, and explained that downwards moderation is quite common . :/ I think she tried to console me by telling me that I am under a small group peeps that the management keeps an eye on for development.

To be honest, I didn't think that I deserved a B+ in the first place (I didn't feel that I have done enough). But then again, to be downgraded all the way to a C... hmm... I was actually thinking, oops, there goes my renovation budget for next year! :(

But then I go back to my motto of thanking God for giving me enough rewards to keep me motivated, and enough setbacks to keep me down to earth and grounded. And I know that whenever I fall, I pick myself up fast and bounce back stronger and wiser.

I also read a good statement today: being obedient doesn't mean the end of adversity. In the same way, I am not going to expect that life will be all rosy and smooth. But I do have faith that I won't lack anything or be alone. And thank God for that. :)

I will continue to jiayou, be responsible, and keep my spirits up!

Lessons learnt

During my work review with J a few days ago, I was sharing with her that my one-month break really helped me put a lot of things into perspective. Was a bit taken aback when she asked me what exactly I have learnt cos I thought bosses in general, erm, don't really have an indepth interest in these kind of things... like they'd only nod nod and say, "really? good for you." then proceed to discuss next year's targets etc.

Anyway, it was a good question because it made me want to write down the lessons learnt, so that I will always remember them.

So here goes (not in order of priority):

#1: Everyday can be a holiday, if you learn how to slow down and look at things in an appreciative, fascinated manner. You know how things are always so "wow, cool!" when you go on a holiday, and then you want to snap down everything you have seen? Well, if you learn to look at the things around you in that perspective, you will find that even a journey from the carpark to the office is quite "wow, cool!".

#2: Remember to love in every sense. "We love because God first loved us". Love your life by stay healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Spend time reading the bible, praying and finding that inner peace. Quit activities that are damaging to your health. Love your family by spending quality time with them. Never, never, never let work take priority in your life. You have to be responsible at work, but you also have to be responsible towards your family. Love your friends by giving encouragement and support. Help those in need!

#3: Listen, really. I was reading the marriage communication book (loaned from church) during my break. There is a lot of good stuff in the book and one important lesson is to learn to listen without interrupting or prejudice in your heart. Have patience, and be kind in your words even during disagreements. Affirm one annother instead. There is really no need to win every argument, if you have already win the heart and respect of the other.

#4: Don't take yourself so seriously, cos... nobody else is taking you THAT seriously. Be yourself, be goofy if you wish, and laugh heartily! :) Have positive self-talk at all times!

#5: Life is beautiful, despite occasions which may have indicated otherwise. There is so much more to be cherished and appreciated in life than to dwell on incidents which have been less than pleasant. Look at the sky, smell the air, feel the sunshine. Life IS beautiful. :)