Valentine's Day

Mr. Jang and I did the typical couple thing and went for a nice dinner at Amara Hotel this Valentine's Day. The food wasn't particularly fantastic but the ambience was nice.

This is neither my hand nor his. The food was cooked by a waitress (and hence it tasted better than if it would have been cooked by us)! :D

Check out the seafood pancake, which is quite yummy when dipped in the special sauce.

And what is Valentine's Day without a furry gift!! I may be, ahem, nearing thirties but I still love a cuddly toy. OK maybe not as much as before but I just can't resist My Melody. Kawaii ne!

妈妈

有少许因为同事的妈妈也病了，所以我上个星期五请了假，除了去身体检验之外，还能陪妈妈逛一天。

从记忆开始，就只记得跟妈妈的关系不太好。当然有好玩的时候。但大多数只记得老是被骂，老是说我欺负姐姐、刁蛮、脾气不好。还记得有一次她很生气地说我为什么要令人讨厌，为什么这么没用。也许我小时候真的很调皮，可当时的打击也挺大的（要不然也不会到现在还记得）。长大后，或许因为成绩还不错的关系，妈妈常常“鼓励”我做某些事情、读某些科目。我也因为怕被骂再加上倔强，读到多辛苦也不出声，只敢哭着跟姐姐说。

就这样，我对妈妈，从小时候的害怕转移到长大后的不满。

大概十年前，妈妈患了癌症。当时第一个反应不是担心，而是内疚。我的性格跟姐姐很不一样，不喜欢过份表示关怀。也因为多年来习惯和妈妈对立，所以也只是站在一旁尴尬地尝试慰问。等她的病好转了，一切大概恢复正常。我也不像爸和姐姐一样，监督妈妈又没有定时吃药。

不晓得从何时开始，我发现妈妈老了很多。不只是外表，连行动思想也慢了许多。有好几次不耐烦地催妈妈“快D啦你！”、“怎么这样也想不起来？” 现在想想，应该是妈妈真的老了，不再是以前那个有力气常常骂我的人。所以，我现在也尝试放多点耐性。虽然这不是一件容易的事，特别是我为减少摩擦，习惯了与妈妈保持距离，要更改沟通方式，的确需要时间。

不过，同事妈妈的病，让我再次记得要珍惜身边的家人，无论他们可爱或不可爱，始终是家人。所以，就让大家尽力去珍惜。别等到最后才觉悟吧。

weirdo me

Because FB account has been "infiltrated" by loads of colleagues, I feel that I can only air my work-related grievances here. But this is going to sound really weird.

I am utterly frustrated and unhappy that I have to burn my weekday evenings and weekends for 4 consecutive days for piles of silly work that I have to do. I have been working non-stop since Wed. I haven't exactly talked to hubs, my mom (who's been here since Thu) or my sis for the entire 4 days. But on the other hand, I feel secretly proud of the fact that I have produced 2 CL speech (+submission), 1 EL speech (+submission), 80% of a "research" report, and 40% of a write-up over this short span of time. And I really feel that the quality of work is already done to the best of my ability.

And in the meantime, I am still harbouring thoughts of seeking a 出路。Working in the currently org is like being with a boyfriend who makes me feel secured, yet I don't know if I love him or not... but I do feel guilty cos the family members are really nice to me. And they are trying to make me feel reassured by telling me that marriage is on the cards.

Should I break up with this boyfriend, and go out to the unknown? A senior whom I spoke to outside the toilet the other day said he/she recommmends me to do so. They always make it sound like there are a lot of big, bad wolves out there, he/she said, but it is not true.

So, boyfriend boyfriend, we patch back for a while but is our relationship meant to last? I really don't know. Any maybe I really want to find out if I can last outside without your love and protection. And admittedly, I am scared that the thought, too. Being with you just give me too much of a sense of stability that I know I probably won't find elsewhere.

Sigh. And that's why they said love and relationships are complicated matters.

First wedding anniversary celebration

I would use the word "adventurous" to describe our first wedding anniversary celebration.

What with losing our way (again!) at Pulau Ubin and taking what the guide described to be the toughest route... being scared to death by wild dogs fighting and the sudden unexpected appearance of a wild boar (wraggggggh!!!)... holding in my bladder as much as possible cos of the gigantic iguana in the toilet (grrr) ... and and and... just cycling round and round and taking loads of funny poseur photos and being totally oblivious to other tourists/visitors staring at us. (man, what's there to stare at huh?!) and of cos ending it all with a nice and simple zichar dinner at one of the "restaurants" (and going to Tampines to get camera stuff after that and of course to finally relieve myself)...

I enjoyed myself tremendously despite Mr. Jang's constant teasing about how I am not suited for Pulau Ubin, and that I always plan stuff to 自己吓自己. And all these are yet again reminders of why we are married. We poke fun at each other all the time. We laugh. We bicker. We make each other's blood boil. We wrestle. We pinch cheeks. We headlock etc etc... at the end of the day, it's a quiet understanding that we are free to talk about anything and be who we are without any barriers or restraints.

So here's to us... our first wedding anniversary. And many many more to come as we grow old together! When your skin is sagging, I will still be pinching your cheek. When I've forgotten who you are, you will still be poking fun at my planning. Wahaha... :)

Happy first anniversary dear. :D

Submission approved by Mr Jang

Dear Mr Jang

This is to seek Mr Jang’s approval for the plans for the first wedding anniversary on 9 Jan 2011. Details for the plan, as well as wet weather contingency, is as follows:

A) Simple, enjoyable and healthy outdoor activities – to change into sports gear and proceed for chicken rice lunch at Changi Village after church at 1.30pm. Thereafter, to board the bumboat ride at $2.50 per pax to Pulau Ubin and participate in a 3-hour bicycle ride. Mr Jang might wish to bring along your own bicycle helmet as well as the Lumix camera for photography. Thereafter, to proceed for a seafood/zichar dinner at one of the restaurants at Pulau Ubin before going home at 9pm. Should Mr. Jang feel unsatisfied with the zichar dinner, lasi lemak supper is available at the Changi Village hawker centre.

Mr Jang might wish to read up or download the Pulau Ubin map at: http://www.nparks.gov.sg/cms/index.php?option=com_visitorsguide&task=parks&id=29&Itemid=73.

B) Wet weather contingency plan – to have lunch at Mr Jang’s preferred restaurant/coffee shop after church. Thereafter, to proceed for a movie at Marina Square. Recommended title is “love and other drugs” (tickets are not booked yet as it depends on the weather on Sunday). Thereafter, to walk over to Marina Bay Sands and have dinner at Jin Shan, a renowned Chinese restaurant. Reservations have been made for two pax at 7.30pm.

Mr Jang might wish to find out more about the Chinese restaurant at: http://www.marinabaysands.com/Restaurants/Jin_Shan.aspx.

2 The above is submitted for Mr Jang’s approval please. Thank you.

Submitted by: Mrs Jang
Date: 7 Jan 2011

wrote this on 30 Dec... on the flight back to HK :)

Year 2010
“It is in the act of facing the storm that you discover what lies inside you and decide what lies before you.”
It is that time of the year again where I (together with million others in the world, I presume) look back at how we have done in the past year and then set new resolutions for the coming year. Funny how, when I think back, that my resolutions are more or less the same year after year, and I never seem to be able to achieve them. Therefore this year, I should apply the backward engineering approach to see if I can come up with something more achievable. Let’s see, my confirmed plans for next year is to move to a new house, maybe try for a baby (?!), and… I don’t know, I guess the most “confirmed” plan I have is to not to have a plan (especially in terms of work) and just take things as it comes.

So many things have happened this year that were totally unexpected. Oh no no, the wedding IS part of the plan although I have openly admitted that I don’t know when I will ever be ready-ready since I am still such a girl inside. But my decision to quit my job and then come back is unexpected (that and the dramatic lunch with the bosses where I felt horribly apologetic and cried, yes, shame shame!) And then my involvement in church ministry is unexpected. Still feeling like a klutz cos not sure how to do it well but am sure that God will provide. Mr. Jang and I are already going to sign up for classes on this together. Yay! Love classes.

Ok, I am digressing and rambling all over the place here. But allow me to do so since it’s just once a year. Talking about doing well… yes I still have an almost insane tendency to want to do well for a lot of stuff. I want to be a good wife, a good sister, a good friend, a good colleague, a good worker, a good citizen etc. Is it possible for a person to be “good” in every role? I realised the problem with me is that I don’t care if it is a yes or a no, I just want to do it! And and and, greedy me want more than just to be “good”. I want to learn. I want to learn more about everything – the world, different languages, cooking stuff, arts & craft, work skills, health habits etc. Maybe that is the reason why I burn out so easily. I am greedy, and I take “live life to the fullest” a little too literally. Am bursting with so many things that I need to do that I am going at 1000km/h.

Coming back to the stuff that has happened this year, I think the best way to describe it is that things did not turn out the way I thought it would be. I had envisaged that I will continue to shine in my new posting. Yes, shine. I had no doubts about my ability to pick up new skills and adapt to a new environment, but I was wrong in that I did not expect myself to be torn between two places – home and work, and I did not adapt well in my new roles. Even till now I still cannot completely let go of the fact that I had overestimated myself. But then, I discovered that once I let go of my pride and accept a lesson in humility, I feel happier and stronger. Maybe it feels like accepting myself as an imperfect person for the first time, and then having the courage, energy and enthusiasm to start all over again?

“Your heart is revealed and your character is forged when life does not turn out the way you planned.”
Indeed. I learnt that I am a vulnerable, less-than-perfect person, and I have also become wiser and more patient with myself. If I could live all over again, there is not a single thing that I’d want to change.

So, here’s to 2010. May it be a lesson to not plan so much in advance, take things as it comes, and learn something from it, come what may.

And may 2011 be an even more unexpected year! Oh… exciting!!

Merci merci :)

Merci Seigneur, pour des petites choses que tu m'avez donne.

Je n'ai pas passe une tres bonne journee au bureau aujourd'hui (due a quelque chose) et j'avais des plans de passer une soiree tranquille avec mon mari et ma soeur. Mais mes cheries m'ont pris par surprise et j'ai fini par passer une tres tres bonne et amusante soiree avec elles.

Donc, merci Seigneur, pour ton amour pour moi, pour me rendre compte qu'il y a beaucoup de gens et d'amies qui sont tres tres gentilles.

Tu es grand!

Bintan!

This was what Bintan looked like when sis and I went for our retreat just last weekend! Ok, it didn't look like this when we first reached (it was raining really heavily!) but at least we had a full sunny day on our second day there! Didn't swim much but just lie by the pool side reading loads of magazines... this is what I call a good life. Hmm....

Too bad it only lasted 2 days. In any case Bintan (at least the Nirwana side) has improved over the years. Think the first time I went there, there was literally nothing much to do except to swim, eat and sleep. Now, there is flying fox, horse/elephant riding, archery, air rifle, bowling etc etc. A good place to just get away from Singapore for the weekend! ^ ^ Warning though, pasar oleh oleh is still as waste time as ever. Haha! :D

Thank you Gaga!

Testing NEX-5

Almonn modelling for me as usual. Placed him on the bay window to prevent him from fidgeting. Obviously, his expression was one of resignation and boredom. His typical are-you-done-yet face.



My short-lived lunch time piano lessons. Told the school today that I am going to stop after this term. Partly because of work committment, partly because the teacher, whom I really like, is going back to China next year. The good thing is, I understand the "concepts" so much better. I just need to practise, practise, practise! Can play the doxology pretty well now, so am going to concentrate on practising Amazing Grace and a simplified version of Canon.



This is from my bathroom. I am famous for taking long, long showers! And Mr. Jang knows that I cannot live with dirty smelly toilets. Anyway, we fell in love with L'Occitane shower stuff when we were using it at Ascott during one of Dad's business trips. Of course, there is a rule that we only use it at night, so that we will have a good night's sleep. High end stuff, so need to ration it.

Anyway, thank you to Mr Jang for getting me NEX-5 for annivesary, birthday and Christmas! Have been eyeing it ever since I read about it on SQ's inflight magazine. Hence, it's a dream present. Thank you dear!! :)

It's December

(In a cosy Christmas mood at home. New scented Yankee candles with snowman.)

December has always been my favourite month - Christmas, birthday, dating anniversary. It is also the month where I'd plan my annual holidays. This year though, I foresee that I will be working real hard. Afterall, there is no more leave to take. How sad can that be... :( (Ok, I know. I had my fun in Aug... but that is like so far away.)

But then, there are a few things that I can surely look forward to:

i) Am going to Bintan this weekend with Sis (as my early birthday pressie). Such a wonderful sister!
ii) Mr Jang is planning a dinner for dating anniversary. It's been 8 long years!
iii) I'm going to have steamboat dinner again for birthday. Yay! Love love love steamboat!
iv) Dad and Mum are coming for Christmas, and Wendy and family are coming slightly before new year. Looking forward to loads of bonding time!
v) HK time at the end of December. Grandparents and cousins, eating and shopping, here we come!

This December is going to be slightly different from the past Decembers because there won't be any long holidays. But it's going to be awesome all the same! Am determined not to let work frustrations ruin the festive mood. Will evaluate my Great Escape Plan again after December. Haha...

A little setback, a little motivation...

A couple of months ago, Boss told me during my work review that my host min has given me a B+ (which is supposed to be very good). Today, Boss told me that I have been given a C after the ranking exercise, and explained that downwards moderation is quite common . :/ I think she tried to console me by telling me that I am under a small group peeps that the management keeps an eye on for development.

To be honest, I didn't think that I deserved a B+ in the first place (I didn't feel that I have done enough). But then again, to be downgraded all the way to a C... hmm... I was actually thinking, oops, there goes my renovation budget for next year! :(

But then I go back to my motto of thanking God for giving me enough rewards to keep me motivated, and enough setbacks to keep me down to earth and grounded. And I know that whenever I fall, I pick myself up fast and bounce back stronger and wiser.

I also read a good statement today: being obedient doesn't mean the end of adversity. In the same way, I am not going to expect that life will be all rosy and smooth. But I do have faith that I won't lack anything or be alone. And thank God for that. :)

I will continue to jiayou, be responsible, and keep my spirits up!

10th attempt at sharing

Seems like eons ago that I last did a sharing of what I learnt from the sermon... shall attempt to pick it up again!

Today's sermon about right and wrong and sticking to the truth is quite close to my heart. I recall Sis describing me as someone who lives by principles (ok - maybe too much principles!! ^ ^) but that's because I always believe that unlike choosing what kind of clothes to wear or what to eat, some things are clearly right or clearly wrong. To differentiate between right from wrong, we must base it on the truth. This truth is in fact timeless instructions from God that are taught to us through the Bible. It is not based on convenience, nor on what is cultural acceptable or prevalently practised at a certain point in time.

Just like how God is the same God since the beginning to the end, the truth is the same truth that is being told thousands of years ago.

Ok, before you (or whoever is reading this!) think that I am trying to be holy or rigid or whatever-it-is, am going to clarify that I am certainly not trying to pretend to be a saint! I face the same daily struggles and temptations like any man/woman on the street and am a sinner just like everyone else.

Thing is, like I said, I really want to learn how to properly walk with God instead of just merely saying that yes I am a Christian. And to do it the right way, I have to go towards the correct direction as set out by God, and not by what man defines/interprets/justifies as right or wrong. Otherwise, I will be like a super enthusiastic person going at full speed but using a compass that changes every sec.

Imagine...

Me (exhausted) to the Compass: So this is the way to the East, right? I have been following this direction the whole day... how come I am getting nowhere near my destination????

Compass: Hmm.... let me see... No, this is only the East in the morning... East is this other way now...

Me: What the...??? Are you trying to be funny??!!

Compass: No... that's what everyone is saying now mah...

Me: @^#*$&*#($&#*

Think you get the picture. :>

Long time no update.... :p

Always start out switching on the comp to blog but always end up checking FB, checking mails, doing 101 things and then forgetting what I want to write or getting too sleepy.

Things have been pretty hectic at work. That aside, have been trying to work hard at equipping myself for the role at children's ministry - practising piano as much as I can (small progress but still a long way to go!), reading the book that Vivien lent me (finally completed it this evening!) and reading the Bible. Maybe it's because I feel that I am so not qualified to help out yet, and want to really want to build up on my Bible knowledge. And the more I read, the more I want to learn (cos there's like endless teachings inside!) So, sometimes can get frustrated and impatient... but then am reminded that the Lord is good and all He is asking for is obedience and faith. :>

So, in summary, am learning tons and tons, and it's taking loads and loads of effort, but I know that it's really really worth it! ^ ^ Am keeping the faith and reminding myself to focus on Jesus! :)

Dress search completed!

Although technically Hwei said that I could wear my existing blue dress as her jiemei dress, which normal girl would pass up the opportunity to shop for new dresses especially when all other jiemeis have bought new dresses too?!?!

And so I spent a while (yes, just a little while) on Sunday taking a really casual walk along Marina Square (really casual). Spotted two dresses that might fit the dress requirement. The first one is the "tiffany" coloured one, and the second one is quite similar to my existing blue dress.




Decided on the second one in the end because the cut looks nicer. Although the colour is almost the same as my existing one, there is a subtle difference! V neck spaghetti strap vs cross-back straight neck.

The best thing is, there is also a huge discount and unlike the jiemei dress I've bought for Sis' wedding, this is one dress that I will definitely wear it again.

Ahaha. Heaven knows how happy a girl can be when she finds a good buy! :D

You know that he is your husband...

... if he can sense your presence 8-storeys away and when he looks up and sees you looking down at him silently, he gets up from the pool immediately, scurries to the lift, and voila appears at the door in less than 3 minutes because he knows that you want to have your dinner now.

hahahahahah. :>

Lessons learnt

During my work review with J a few days ago, I was sharing with her that my one-month break really helped me put a lot of things into perspective. Was a bit taken aback when she asked me what exactly I have learnt cos I thought bosses in general, erm, don't really have an indepth interest in these kind of things... like they'd only nod nod and say, "really? good for you." then proceed to discuss next year's targets etc.

Anyway, it was a good question because it made me want to write down the lessons learnt, so that I will always remember them.

So here goes (not in order of priority):

#1: Everyday can be a holiday, if you learn how to slow down and look at things in an appreciative, fascinated manner. You know how things are always so "wow, cool!" when you go on a holiday, and then you want to snap down everything you have seen? Well, if you learn to look at the things around you in that perspective, you will find that even a journey from the carpark to the office is quite "wow, cool!".

#2: Remember to love in every sense. "We love because God first loved us". Love your life by stay healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Spend time reading the bible, praying and finding that inner peace. Quit activities that are damaging to your health. Love your family by spending quality time with them. Never, never, never let work take priority in your life. You have to be responsible at work, but you also have to be responsible towards your family. Love your friends by giving encouragement and support. Help those in need!

#3: Listen, really. I was reading the marriage communication book (loaned from church) during my break. There is a lot of good stuff in the book and one important lesson is to learn to listen without interrupting or prejudice in your heart. Have patience, and be kind in your words even during disagreements. Affirm one annother instead. There is really no need to win every argument, if you have already win the heart and respect of the other.

#4: Don't take yourself so seriously, cos... nobody else is taking you THAT seriously. Be yourself, be goofy if you wish, and laugh heartily! :) Have positive self-talk at all times!

#5: Life is beautiful, despite occasions which may have indicated otherwise. There is so much more to be cherished and appreciated in life than to dwell on incidents which have been less than pleasant. Look at the sky, smell the air, feel the sunshine. Life IS beautiful. :)

bon courage!

It's been a month since I've started my French lessons at Alliance and although my vocab has somewhat expanded, I am not making as much progress as I'd like to. Having said, that's the problem with most "leisure" courses... yes, you pay the money, but no you don't want to spend too much effort. Afterall, it's a course that you take for recreation purposes.

BUT! I am not called 尽责 or nerdball or whatever-it-is these days for nothing. I have made up my mind that I'm gonna work real hard to polish up my French. My ultimate goal is to speak as well as a native speaker.... in 5 years' time? Not a very ambitious goal but at least I'm working towards something!

SO! My plan is to do self-study after work... or at least on days where I don't have to rush out speeches/admin programmes etc etc or go out for dinner with friends/family. I foresee that my life is going to be a real busy one... cos I've also said that I will exercise more to stay healthy and fit. And I will study the bible every night before I sleep. Plus, have also signed myself (and Mr. Jang) up for the church's children/youth ministry. Not sure if we will be assigned anything but am quite keen to do more in this area. :D

Life is short, so am making my time here as meaningful as possible.... by concrete actions and not just by saying only like what I used to do! Allez bon courage! Pas pour mon propre honneur, mais pour le Votre!

back-up model

Stood in as a back-up model for Lil's course assignment cos the original model was on MC. And yes, that's how I earn a scoop of ice-cream. Yum Yum Yum. If only I can do this full time. Haha. :D

华人华文

最近在公司常常要阅读华文文件和用华文写稿. 不是我不喜欢华文, 只是需要通过批准的过程和时间,和英文文件比起来都比较久. 而且写华文稿的时候, 不但需要用上成语, 软件也少了词库功能, 变成很多时候有种词不达意, 不知道如何继续的感觉.

尽管如此, 我知道这是个很好的锻炼机会. 也明白老板给我这分差事, 是觉得我有足够的能力胜任. 换句话说, 我应该庆幸有这么一个学习的机会. 毕竟也是香港出生的, 好歹对中文有些自豪和亲切感. 就算难, 也一定会费尽心机去做, 坚持不渝.

我想我现在的缺点, 是缺乏对中华文化有更深的认识. 虽然平时在日常生活中运用华文, 或在写些比较简单的课题上不成问题, 可是一需要接触类似儒家思想, 文学文艺的地方, 就"头大大"了. 再怎样努力也挤不出半粒字. :( 但是这根本不是一时之间可以解决或学到的呀. 希望以后会有机会, 被派去上课吧. 在等待的当儿, 也只好靠上网尽量解决吧! :>

to my dearies

Read this during my bedtime Bible reading time: True friendships are not based on utilitarianism or selfish interest, but on love.

And if we replace the word "love" in Corinthians with "a friend", the verse would go like this:

A friend is patient, a friend is kind. A friend does not envy, she does not boast, she is not proud. A friend is not rude, and she is not self-seeking, she is not easily angered, she keeps no record of wrongs. A friend does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. A friend always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Like a diamond, friendships centered around God is build to last.

May our friendship sparkle like a precious gem, peeps! :)

background distractions

Ever since the trio - Me, Sis, Chick - has been tasked to sing at Hwei's wedding (until recently where she decided she better not risk it, haha!) and tried recording our own voice on iphone, I have more or less tried to learn songs this way to see how I sound.
Anyway, I was happily learning how to sing a Cantonese Christian song in the car with Mr Jang driving when he suddenly cursed at the parking fee, without knowing that I was recording. You can hear a "三块多??妖精!!!" at approximately 00.07. And also how my voice was quivering from trying hard not to laugh.
I think it's quite funny.

my choice... :)

I realise that it's so much easier to whine and complain and feel grouchy and angry. Staying cheerful and positive actually takes a lot a lot of effort.

But I know it's worth it. At the end of the day, I live with myself for the rest of my life, and I want me to be a happy healthy person, hence am making the choice to stay zen and peaceful come what may.

Not easy... but practice makes perfect.:)

Day 4 back in the office

Day 4 back in the office, and all the negativity is starting to come back again. But am fighting to keep it at bay, and remembering what I have promised myself. I hate it when I am negative, so I must really, really make the effort to manage it.

I had a long prayer with Mr. Jang the other day, asking for God's directions. I don't think we are lazy or fussy people but perhaps, we feel that something is missing. But having said that we will believe He will make all things beautiful in His time, we shall trust and not doubt.

The wedding of a childhood family friend over the weekend reminded us how blessed and at peace we can be if we have faith and allow God to work his way through us. Hence, moving forward, I will try to have more positive self-talk. :) I think I won't be able to stop the grumpiness immediately, but I hope I will be reminded, every time the temptation to be negative comes, to be appreciative of all the blessings that were given to me, more that I ever deserve.

Jia you jia you!

End of my one-month break

So I am ending my month long break in 2 days' time. I didn't write in HK cos there were just so many people to meet and so many things to do! But I really want to say that I am deeply thankful for everyone, who had shown me a little wisdom here and there by action and by words.

Am already missing Dad and Mom, as well as my grandparents. Am also very glad that I got to meet Simshie who happened to be in HK! :)

So going to miss my month-long break but who knows, maybe the next one will be coming up real soon. Heehee.

Day 10 - Paris

On my last day in France, Mom and I made a dash to Les Puces de Saint-Ouen, which is equivalent to BKK's Chatuchak market. There are so many things to see but so little time. Didn't get to buy a lot of things as well because we didn't have the time, and didn't have the space to stuff inside our luggage. It's actually my first time there. If anything, this trip is like a major trip of weekend markets because we are always searching online for bargains and asking the tourist office about them.

After we have checked out of the hotel, we finally finally had the time to sit at a road side cafe and enjoy our last cup of coffee and bread. The weather is relatively warmer now, but the breeze made sitting outdoors perfect. Fortunately, there weren't a lot of people smoking, so we get to enjoy our so-called lunch.

Look how Hayrer has been stuffed. She's so heavy that she can hardly stand.

And then it's time to say goodbye. Like I said, this trip has been really fulfilling in all sense. I learnt so so so much, mainly because I was spending time exploring new things, learning how to "cope" with Mom (yes, it requires loads of patience and understanding, and I'm sure it's the same for her as well), and also spending time reading, thinking, reflecting, and just... digesting things that are happening all around. I guess once in a while, it really helps to step away from the everything, quiet down, and just let God work His way in you.

So France, thank you for being the place where I can find myself and more. Yes, I'm pouting as I leave, but I'll Be Right Back. Bisous bisous. :)

Day 9 - Paris

I always have this thinking that our 3-day stay in Paris will be very slow-paced and relaxed, and I am always so wrong. In our second last day in Paris, we took an early train to Fontainebleau and visited the famous Chateau Fontainebleau, which was used by several French kings, including Napoleon. Mom said her legs nearly broke from all the walking around the salons. I totally agreed. But still the Chateau is beautiful. It was worth the 40-mins ride from Paris (and of course, the flea market at the place where the bus stopped was also worth it cos Mom bought over 40 Euros worth of accessories.)

We went to LV at Champs Elysee when we return to Paris but unfortunately, they ran out of the neverfull MM bag that Paulyn wanted. So we went back to the hotel to pull down our bags and came out again. This time to the Louvre. Got distracted (like always) by the amusement park in the Jardin des Tuileries. This gigantic machine really got us laughing like crazy, because whoever ventures in were made to go through a series of challenges that sometimes can get you trapped in the most embarrassing positions. Check out these three girls, who came giggling and screaming out at the same time. Confetti was flying everywhere in celebration of their triumphant exit.

Weird enough, our last dinner in Paris was spent eating Spanish food. The staff was super friendly and the food was quite yummy. But oh, the beer was superb!! It's called... cruzcampo? Must remind myself to drink that the next time I eat Spanish food... or if I go Spain. :)

It has been a wonderful, fantastic, marvellous, awesome and enlightening trip. Giving much thanks, and hoping that I will be back again soon. :)

Day 8 - Paris

Finally finally, I met Haoxiang again after 2 years! It seems like we have just parted yesterday. We were in Reims together in 2006, then I visited her in Paris in 2008, and now again in 2010. To think that we were both quite "young" back then. Now both of us are married, and she has a daughter of 1.5 years old. How things have changed, but am so so happy to see her and catch up again, even if it is just over a simple lunch. :)

Went to walk walk around St Paul and Montmartre with Mom after lunch. Montmartre is actually one of my favourite place in Paris because it is really beautiful, but I am quite reluctant to go because this area is one of the most dangerous areas i.e. pickpockets and gypsies are everywhere.

I suppose we must have looked really local, cos for once no one approached us to buy stuff. We sat on the slope, comme les francais, and enjoyed the afternoon sun for a while before heading back to the hotel to wash up.

Had dinner at Leon de Bruxelles (La Republique) with Mom's former colleague from HK. Expected a boring evening with the two "adults" talking, but Helen is surprisingly very engaging and full of funny stories of how she adapted (and is still adapting) to the French way of life i.e. the slow way of handling things, endless paperwork, wrong food order etc. And the thing that I didn't expect her to do is to create an understanding within me on why Mom sometimes does some things (she was sharing her own experience on how frustrating she could be when her mother calls her and ask how she is, what she is doing etc. Little did she know that this phone call thing is a neverending argument between me and Mom. And yes, btw, I think I almost quarrelled with Mom about this over dinner at Toulouse). She said, "I need to give my mother a chance to know me." I suppose, yes, I need to give Mom a chance to understand me as well, so I should stop sounding so irritated every time she calls. :p

I had wanted to say this towards the end of the trip, but I guess I can say it now. I started out on this trip wanting to find something. Throughout the trip I had doubts on whether I had taken the right path, of resigning, of deciding to go back, of wanting to take a break. I still do not know if I had found the thing I was looking for, but I think I had gained a lot a lot from this trip. A sort of enlightenment on many things. And I think yes, I will go back a better person.

Chaque instant de ma vie, et chaque endroit ou je suis, Seigneur conduit mes pas.

Day 7 - Toulouse - Paris

Spent the day chasing after the TGV again. We were supposed to transit at Bordeaux and St Pierre but in the end, we decided that we shall heck care the timetable and take a direct train from Toulouse to Paris. What a wise choice it is. Nobody checked our tickets at all on the 5-hour ride to Paris, and we managed to reach 3 hours ahead of our initial scheduled time. C'est parfait.

Mom and I decided that we shall not go to the usual tourist areas since it is not our first time in Paris. Instead, she convinced to me to go to this free open air cinema at Parc de la Villette. Turns out that the show only starts at 10.30pm! It's really too late and unsafe for the both of us to stay around that time, so we took a walk around the park instead.

This is the gigantic ball that got me really fascinated. It's made of mirror, so you can see the reflection of the park and of the sky. It's supposed to be some water clock by the Egyptians. Not sure how it works but it's beautiful.

Can you see us?

The park is a mixture of scientific and artistic installations. I love the way how art is always part of the French way of life, be it graffiti or proper drawings on the walls, the floor, the seats etc etc. It adds flavour to everything that would otherwise be simple and dull.

Day 6 - Toulouse

A tiring tiring day of walking around the town to the main places of interest i.e. eglise st pierre, basilique st sernin and cathedrale etienne. I especially like la Garonne, because it's sorta away from the main tourist areas and less crowded.



Had lunch at an Italian cafe. The food is nice but the portion is SO big! Couldn't finish the pasta or the pizza... and also because I want to save room for the Tiramisu which comes with the set.

Afternoon was spent shopping for "souvenirs" for Mr. Jang and the in-laws. Seriously, I have never seen souvenir shops closed but it seems to be the custom here, to close for Summer holidays. A bit perplexed...Like, ain't Summer supposed to be the period where most tourists come? In any case, found good bargain along the walking district. Yay yay. :)

Mom cooked Salmon steak with pasta for dinner. Thank God for Mom again. Not everyone can enjoy good "home-cooked" food in the comforts of a hotel room.

Day 5 - Bordeaux - Toulouse

And voila, we arrived at Toulouse, the Pink City. It is much warmer than Bordeaux and surprisingly, more crowded as well. It's totally swarmed with tourists and locals who are taking advantage of the superb weather. Thank God, we finally had an air-con room to stay in. Not that we needed it in Paris or Bordeaux, but it's nice to be able to sleep with the window closed and air-con on for once. Less noisy in a way. The Citadine hotel in Toulouse is much nice than the one in Paris and Bordeaux as well. Newer, bigger, and the lifts work much faster. In case you can't see it in the photo, I am pointing at the hotel. It's within walking distance to the train station, and also to the town center.

I finally realised my dream of cycling in France, even if it's only for half an hour. Mum tried to cycle as well but it has been ages since she cycled, so we went "practising" around the back street. We must have been quite a sight, going back and forth so many times. The bicycles are sturdy, but much much heavier than we thought. In the end, we decided that we better stick to the safer method of walking around town. So I said au revoir to my velo. It was a short but sweet experience.

We took a tourist train for 5 Euros to go around town. It was quite popular and people had to literally climb over the barriers once the train arrived and grab a seat quickly. It's like taking the train in the zoo, only better because we were actually travelling along the roads and alleys. It's like, the whole city is a big zoo and we are exploring it.

Ended the day with a superb dinner at a restaurant facing the Capitolium. Took a set dinner which includes an entree and un plat du jour. Took a salade grecque and les moules, plus 2 glasses of chardonnay blanc. It's super super yummy.

Couldn't resist dessert so added a profiterole du chocolat.

Total damage: 75 Euros, and maybe 10,000 calories. :)

Day 4 - Bordeaux

The full day walking tour turned out to be real fun although we had to cover long distances. The weather was nice enough, with the occasional showers but only when we were indoors having lunch and on our way back to the city centre. The small village in the region of Entre-Deux-Mers has vast expanse of vineyards. Some recently planted, others ready for harvesting. I wish we could have more time for taking proper photos. The guide moved relatively fast so we could only snap a few here and there before running to catch up with the group.

Tne grapes looked so juicy... like they are going to burst anytime. According to the guide, the harvesting period should be around mid to end September.

We had two wine tasting sessions - Chateau deMarsan and Chateau de Bellegarde. The former is the biggest around that area, while the latter is the smallest. Learnt much about the risky business of making of white, red and rose wine. Definitely made me appreciate every sip I drank. And perhaps, I will also be wiser the next time I choose a wine.

Was supposed to go Place de la Bourse with Mom after dinner, but felt so drowsy after taking the flu medicine. Couldn't find the strength to go out anymore. It's a pity cos I was also looking forward to see the night scenary, and we are leaving tomorrow for Toulouse already. Hopefully there will be a next time for Bordeaux. There is definitely a lot more to explore in this region.

Day 3 - Bordeaux

Bordeaux is by far one of the most beautiful cities in France. And I am half drunk as I am writing this. Blame this on the smooth 4.99 Euro red wine which we found at the supermarket opposite.

Spend the entire morning walking around the weekend bazaars around the town area. Wasn't expecting myself to buy clothes in France, especially since I just came back from a trip to BKK, but mind you the clothes found at the bazaars are made in Italy and France. Not "fabrique en Chine". They sell anything from dresses to lingerie. Around a picturesque cathedrale (St Michel) somemore. Need I say more? Spent more than 100 Euro at the weekend markets. Zut.

Lunch is roasted chicken with potatoes bought from a shop near the bazaar area. Yummy yum yum. In the comforts of our hotel room.

Cross over to the other side of the river in the late afternoon. The weather was superb although the wind was literally blowing the two of us away. Bought some more stuff along St Catherine, the famous shopping stretch. Oh gosh, I am starting to wonder if we have brought enough money to spend. Seriously, the clothes are selling from 2 to 10 Euros. And they are of good quality!

Dinner is hotel-cooked steak. Really, my Mom can do just anything. Like, steak in a hotel room? It was superb, combined with a bottle of red wine. Oh gosh, I hope I can wake up for the tour tomorrow. And yes, just to update, we didn't manage to book any bicycle tours. It's like the super hot holiday season right now and the only tour we could get in is a whole day WALKING tour around the vineyards. Around 12 km? Yes... I better go get some rest now...

Bonne nuit... et a tout a l'heure. :)

Day 2 - Paris - Bordeaux

Nothing significant to highlight on my second day in France. Except that breakfast was really good. Nothing beats a cup of cafe creme and pain au chocolat in a chilly morning.

We spend the morning walking around Jardin de Luxembourg, the Latin Quarters and the Pantheon. And then it was endless hours of travelling. The annoyingTGV that was supposed to take us to Bordeaux was delayed by 2 hours. Luckily we managed to jump onto another one which was heading that way. Otherwise, we would only reach at 11pm plus.

And we had to stand at the cramped doorway because there ain't proper seats for us. The TGV was wobbly (see pic for proof). But I suppose it added a bit of an artistic feel to the photo. :p

We are contemplating taking one of those half day bicycle tours tomorrow for wine tasting (if we could wake up in time and have enough energy).

But as it is, I need to recover from some internal injury - fell flat on my face after tripping on Mom's luggage. I must have looked like a really clumsy tortoise. My backpack was too heavy and I couldn't get up at all. And Mom was clearly juggling between guilt and amusement at seeing me struggle. After a few moments of "are you ok?", she burst out laughing for the longest, longest, longest time. Grrr. So much for me praising her yesterday! Growl.

Day 1 - Paris

Bonjour!

Arrived safely in Paris after a tiring flight on Emirates. Stopped over at BKK (again) and DXB before finally arriving in France - the country which still captures my heart despite this being my 4th time here.



Missing Mr. Jang terribly, and wishing that he is here as well. But Mum's good company. I've got to hand it to her. No matter how grouchy I am and how irritated I seemed, she is always in good spirits, "wowing" at stuff endlessly, eating heartily and talking incessantly. I am more amused than annoyed. And deep down, I am very grateful that she put aside her work once again for her daughter. She might claim that she wants to go for a holiday as well, but I highly suspect that she came along because she wanted to make sure that I am safe.

Well, I am really not good with words. And I don't think I will ever say it. But yes, thanks Mum. You are great. :)

Jia You!

Just back from BKK this morning. And now am at the airport once again. Mixed feelings.

Must remind myself why I want to take a break in the first place.

Focus, focus!

I love you, Deuter...

Hi. My name is Deuter. I am about 10 years old. I was with my master when she first travelled to France in 2000/2001, where she stayed with a host family. From then on I travelled with her to HK, BKK, Bintan, Batam, and many many other places. I know that she is very unwilling to give me away although I have been dirtying her clothes (the skin on my inner walls is peeling). Her parents bought me for her first France trip, and of course, she has deep feelings for me.

So what would be my fate? Would I be given away, dumped, or kept inside the cupboard for old memories' sake? Or will I be used again for shorter trips, if she can find a way to mend my inner walls?

Oh master, I will miss you when you visit France again this time round. Although I won't be there, I am sure my sister, Hayrer will be a good company. Have a safe trip and looking forward to see you when you are back (if I am still around). Love, Deuter.

A month-long break...

Went back to the colourful office today to bid farewell to one colleague who was about to be posted out. My cub was already set up. Felt weird yet glad to be back there again... to see familiar faces and be in a familiar environment. Still don't know what to expect when I officially start work in Sep. I only know that no matter what, I just need to 加油加油! And God will take care of the rest. :)

Also collected the Eurail pass today. Getting excited about all the travelling I'd be doing this month. Praying for safety, and also praying that I'd find the thing that I am looking for!