Home trip

Since I was already in Hong Kong, I figured that I might as well make a trip back to Singapore to see how everyone's doing, and mainly to keep Mom company because she was having a series of health check-ups. Mom has always been there for me for major medical events - wisdom tooth extraction, facial cyst removal - and I want to do the same for her knowing how much it means for the patient.

It felt weird to be home at first because I have sort of gotten used to the life in USA. I was practically melting the whole week - it was too hot! But it's priceless when you get to spend time with friends and family. I swam with little Jovan twice (I think he's a fish; he's happiest in the water) and had many breakfasts and high teas with Mom.

It's totally a family bonding time. In fact, this one week in Singapore was worth so much more than my being physically there but working my life away. God really bless me by providing me with a different perspective. Thank you for taking me out of the work force temporarily and making me see.

Jovan was leaning so happily into the water, we had to hold on to the mushroom in case he flips over. 

My chocolate tartlette at Paul

Just a simply croissant for Mom

The happy hairy boy

Goodbye, 大婆婆

She was always old, quiet and awkward. A little out of place in family gatherings.

I recalled Mom telling me when I was little that it was a unhappy relationship between her, my grandpa and grandma. She was my grandpa's first wife. Apparently, my grandpa was forced to marry her upon her father's request but the one he really loves is my grandma, the second wife.

I guess it was really complicated back then and I was certainly in no position to comment. But I often wonder what was going through her mind all these years. Unloved? Grandpa has always stayed with Grandma while she stayed alone in a small flat at Wong Dai Sin, a low-income area. When she got older and frailer, an uncle out of good intentions married a Chinese woman to help take care of her. An ugly confrontation ensued when my aunt later found out that 大婆婆 was tied to a chair all day.

So she went to the old folks' home. It was a nice building on top of a hill, opposite Queen Mary hospital in Pok Fu Lam. Because of the close proximity to my parents' place, we visited her a few times when we were in Hong Kong. She was extremely pleased to see us and even more happy when we gave her a red packet for Chinese New Year. I never knew if she took notice of us cos we are not her direct sons/daughters/grandchildren. But she remembered our names. She said my father was the most obedient of the lot. She was sad when we said we had to leave. I told myself to develop a photo of us with her, so that she can stick it by her bedside wardrobe.

Days before her death, before I even know she was getting weaker, I finally had that photo developed. I was going to ask BIL to take it back for me. That photo didn't make it. I wished I had done it earlier. I had more than a year to do so. So I don't know what to do with the photo now. I will just take it back with me when I fly back tomorrow for the funeral.

I realised that no matter whether you are close to that person or not, losing a family member is painful. So 大婆婆, rest well in heaven. You will have plenty of love now, as a cherished child of God. No more suffering.

A lover or a friend?

This morning when I woke up, I saw that Mr. Jang has once again helped me plug my iPad2 in the charger. On normal days, my towel, which I usually hang on the dining chair to dry the previous night, would be in the bathroom so that I can just stumble in from a groggy sleep and take my morning shower. My bedroom slippers would be within reach of my feet.

I'm not ungrateful for all the sweet deeds. In fact, I think I have a wonderful hubs. But?

Two days ago when I was whatsapping my girlfriends Happy V-Day, a sense of nostalgia swept over me. I missed our secondary school days where the excitement builds up way before, we discussed what we or our classmates might be getting from 'steads', we went all bright-eyed and giggly. As Hwei put it aptly, the excitement and innocence of V-Day... and now it's like so nothing!

I didn't have many relationships before. No.1 was really out of curiosity. I broke off with No.2 because it felt too much like friends although people said he really liked me then. Surprisingly, I had the longest ever ding dong with No.3 although it swung from fun times to big fights and back. It tugged at my heart the most. (Disclaimer: I do not miss any of them in the romantic way.)

Life is good now. I'm married to a great guy and I really can't imagine life without him.

Perhaps, I am just missing that adolescent, hit-you-in-the-gut kind of feeling now. Perhaps, we are too old for that. Or are we?

How to balance the steadfastness and security of a friend with the passion, mystery and wonders of a lover? Can we have our cake and eat it?

Tell me I'm not alone in this.

Life is... to live.

I drove a friend to a clinic at Stanford for her prenatal check-up today because her husband is away at a meeting in the city. A sweet lady whom I met once and got to know through an ex-colleague.

We went for lunch together before the appointment and chatted casually about life in USA. I knew from her blog that it hasn't been an easy pregnancy because she had pre-existing health conditions. I had expected her check-up to be long which I didn't mind at all and was all ready to wait with my book till she was done.

What I didn't expect was that after she came out from the doctor's, she told me that she had to do additional tests and might have to stay in the hospital till her delivery in March. I didn't understand fully what the complications are but that her condition might deteriorate very fast and the doctors wanted to err on the side of caution. I drove her to the hospital and offered to wait with her but she told me to go home first because it will be a long wait.

I'm not sure why I feel very down after hearing the news. Once again it hit me how often we take our own health for granted. I push my brain, my heart, my eyes, my back to the point of pain for work, and then to de-stress I load my body with wine, beer, fried/processed food. I never love my health.

I never stop to let myself breathe and enjoy life until now.

Funny how when I look back at the happiest moments of my life, it was when I was living on a budget. There are so many things I can't do when I am living on a budget that I start to take advantage of the free and cheap things I can do. Borrow books from the library, take a walk in the park, call parents/grandparents to talk, cook, exercise... and all these makes me feel that I'm consciously living.

Happiness really, really comes in taking time to live.

 

Third wedding anniversary!

How time flies! Mr. Jang and I have reached the 3-year milestone!

It's going to be a 2-day celebration again, as with all important dates here because of the time zone difference. Today it's just a simple dinner at home with his favourite 嫲嫲鸡粒 (yes he ate that two days in a row and he is still not sick of it for some reason) and I received a pair of gloves as a surprise present! Haha! It's the colourful ones that I saw at Mollie Stone's, and the pair of gloves made this house-elf very happy.

It's gonna be dine-out celebration tomorrow. Can't wait! :)

Burnt veggies which nonetheless taste ok!

My new cleaning gloves.

One of my funny poses... and I just realised I'm in my PJs. Oops.

All things cute!

Found these really cute gloves at Mollie Stone's. Guarantee to glam up your kitchen moments. I definitely want to buy one when I'm heading back home, if they are still in stock!

The cashier also paid us a compliment by asking if we are over 21 years old and old enough to drink when we bought a moscato. Thank you thank you from this 30 something couple.

They come in assorted colours!

Hmmm... swollen eyes cos I seldom wake up early nowadays.

Cutesy Hello Kitty shower cap

My shower cap tore last week, which resulted in me getting my hair ends totally wet in the morning. Made a mental note to get a good one when I go to the supermarket.

Was at Target this evening after dinner and surprise, surprise! After scouting the whole supermarket, the only shower cap I saw was a Hello Kitty one! Not that I mind. But what I failed to realise is that it's really for kids. I managed to stuff my hair into the shower cap at home (here's how it looks... how cute!) but I could feel the blood circulation in my head cutting off.

I'll have to return it or risk suicide by squeezing my brain into this tiny shower cap. Boohoho!

Saved by chocolate

Had a bad bout of cramps this month, an unusual attack as the last time I had it that bad was in junior college, where I puked in the school toilet and Mom had to fetch me home.

 

It must be the amount of coffee I've been drinking here. Caffeine worsens the cramp. That includes green tea too.

 

I used to take chocolate to relieve the pain but have been avoiding it cos it gives me an outbreak almost immediately. But it was so bad and I didn't have Ponstan in the house, so the only thing I did was to fix a a cocoa drink. Surprisingly, it helped a lot... and almost immediate relief too.

 

(Also used the new Starbucks mug to keep it warm. Oh yes, I got sold into the whole Starbucks culture here, coffee and mug and all the Christmas coffee editions and hence the overdose of caffeine!!)

 

Now I shall pray that this week will pass by really quickly so that I can get back to my normal life...

 

New Year's Eve

I called Mr. Jang when I woke up today at 2pm.

"Dear, I've waken up."

Mr. Jang gave me his usual what-you-slept-till-now? reply. He is forever amused at how late I can sleep till when I have the chance. And gosh do I have all the chance in the world now.

"I am going to eat cup noodles now."

Pause. Then I said something which I haven't said for a long time.

"Dear, I am very happy. Thank you for bringing me along to US."

He chuckled at the other end of the line. I imagined him shaking his head.

Sleep does wonders to a woman. Physical, mental, emotional. Really.

I am a happy woman now.

Inspired by Alice

The Mad Hatter stops midway in making hats for the Red Queen and asks Alice Kingsley in horror: "Have I gone mad?

Alice pretends to check his temperature. "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers."

"But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are," she adds.

The Mad Hatter smiles.

Alice in Wonderland was running on ABC Family and Mr. Jang was commenting how boring the story was. But I've always found the storyline intriguing, even inspirational.

I've gone bonkers too... because I've told Mr. Jang that I'm training to become Nikita. Other than picking up jogging again, I'm doing daily stretches, crunches, push-ups and muscle toning exercies.

Too far a target?

Alice expressed horror at the enemy's monstrous champion: "This is impossible."

The Mad Hatter replied: "Only if you believe it is."

Too bad the only ass I got to 'kick' is Mr. Jang's. Haha.

Home after a 5-km run.

My best kick ass pose.

A separate blog for life in USA

I am still awake at 3.30am because I have just finished setting up a new blog on our life in USA. Mr. Jang thought it will be interesting to have one that focuses on our adventures here.

Am so not abandoning findingracehere.blogspot.com because this is still where I'll be, as an individual!

If you are interested in knowing the other blog's add, let me know.

First Christmas in US

We had planned to drive four hours up to Humboldt Redwood State Park and stay one night at Eureka over the Christmas weekend... but alas, the cold stormy weather kept us trapped inside the house and we only had one miraculous day of sunshine on Christmas eve. We took advantage of that and made an impromptu trip to Pigeon Point Lighthouse after lunch, which is about an hour's drive away.

The drive was longer than it seemed, perhaps because we were on highway 92 towards Half Moon Bay and it was a rather narrow, winding road especially when we hit the mountains. Despite that, as we neared the small town, we were greeted with sights of cute farm houses selling real Christmas trees and pumpkins (probably leftovers from Halloween). It's really new to us because Singapore almost never sell real Christmas trees... nor pumpkins that big.

Once we hit Highway 1 (Cabrillo Highway), it's a scenic drive along the Pacific Coast all the way till we reach the lighthouse. Would have loved to stop over at some of the scenic points along the way if not for the fact that we were in a race against daylight. We hoped to take photos of the lighthouse before it turns dark. We did manage that... and also walked around the place for a while before we overheard the guards saying that they were closing for the day. I'd love to come back for more photos... perhaps in the summer. The place is beautiful.

We then headed towards Mountain View to visit the Google headquarters. Mr. Jang really wanted to see the Android Jelly Bean ever since WL mentioned it to him. We got a little lost searching for the exact location but were helped by friendly Google staff on brightly-coloured bicycles. The mascots were really cute... the only turn-off was the muddy field. It was raining so consistently heavy the past few days that the soil was all soft and yucky.

Our last stop was at Menlo Park Presbyterian Church (of cos we need to attend church service!) We THOUGHT we were early but lo and behold! There was already a queue forming outside the church. The first service was apparently full to the brim and we had to wait till the next available one (it's typical on Christmas eve, an attendant told us). It was cold and windy while waiting but the church was very thoughtful in providing heat packs, warm ciders and brownie/cinnamon bites, brought to us by volunteers on trolleys. It's great experiencing the Christmas atmosphere here. It also made us more appreciative and grateful for the fact that we have a proper place to worship God...

And then on Christmas day, it was back to rainy skies again. It's been so ever since so we stayed at home for two full days, with Mr. Jang working from home on Boxing Day instead of going to the empty office. I hope the sun comes out soon (it did so briefly today!) so that we can continue seeking out new places to enjoy!

你要的爱 ukulele

I love musical instruments although I have zero intentions of mastering one; I just like the fact that I can self-entertain with one.

Here's 你要的爱 by 戴佩妮 - with ukulele.

Crediting www.ijita.com for the chords. It's by far the most useful website for Mandarin pop song chords. Check it out!

A quiet weekend

Have been watching the news on and off about the shooting and tearing every time I see survivors or families sharing their stories. The most heart-wretching one was of the principal's family. Her husband said he no longer feel angry at her for putting her life in danger. She had asked her staff to hide while she went out to confront the gunman - she was shot dead. When the reporter asked the daughter what would she say to her mom if she were here, she paused and wept: "Come back... come back..."

The pain is so real.

In between the news updates, Mr. Jang streamed Saturday Night Live on his Mac (we still haven't bought a proper TV). Definitely a good relief from all the sad news that's going around this country. We could all use a laugh or two in these solemn times. Ha.

This morning's sermon spoke about the kind of gift we could give God this Christmas. Afterall he gave us his son more than two thousand years ago. God loves justice. We could give him justice, not in terms of being judgemental and taking revenge in our own hands, but by being agents of change at home and in society to ensure that everyone (children, adult, elderly) are being treated fairly and given a fair chance at life.

A fair chance at life indeed... Sincerely hope that individually and collectively, the people of this nation can put a stop to all these senseless violence and give the young (and the old) a safe environment to grow and live.

Connecticut

This year's birthday celebration was a tad more special in that:

1) I celebrated it in US instead of SG;
2) Because of the time zone difference, it felt like a 2-day celebration because I have loads of friends and family wishing me 'happy birthday' a day in advance;
3) Compared to previous years where I met up with old friends for dinner, I actually made new friends this birthday (had brunch with Mr. Jang's colleague and her fiance, and also met up with a couple from SG whom I knew through another friend and have briefly spoken to on FB.)

I really had fun, but at the back of my mind, I'm haunted by the tragedy that happened at the elementary school at Connecticut.

It's not the first time such shooting incidents have happened in US. I'm not sure why I am particularly bothered this time - perhaps it's because I'm on this side of the world, or perhaps it's because I've been a sunday school teacher to primary school kids - I try not to imagine what went through the minds of the teachers... terrified, need to do something, what to do, how much time, protect my students...

I read the news on the timeline of the massacre and saw the list of names of the victims which was just released by the Police. I am truly overwhelmed with sadness when I thought of the children, especially how they would never have a chance to realise the dreams they have in adulthood. The young victims (most of them were reportedly first-graders) were just starting to enjoy school and friends... and they were robbed of their lives so early. Not only those who were slain, those who survived... the police officers had to ask them to close their eyes as they passed through the corridor on the way out to safety, because the scene along the way was just too horrible for anyone to see. As I write, I heard on the news that some of the six-years-olds are still trying to process what happened and if their friends and teacher will come back.

I don't want to debate about the right to own guns, although I really want to punch the stupid interviewee on TV who said that everyone should own one so that we can protect ourselves (what stupid logic is that). I want to pray for God's healing for the families, for the country, for the world. A lot of people would ask where God is in the midst of all these tragedies, how He can let such atrocities be committed against the innocent. We don't have an answer, but we know that God's love endures even through the most difficult times.

Mr. Jang said one thing which I really agree with. Christmas is coming, and often we think of how we can use this day as an opportunity to go on a holiday or party with friends. But this Christmas, may we truly be reminded that Jesus is the reason for the season, and take time to pray for His intervention in this world of irrationalism and violence.

May God bless the victims and comfort their families in the long painful journey of recovery.

A proper trip to San Francisco city (finally)!

Spent much of last week with friends starting with Jo and Victor, who were here on a week-long recce trip. They will be relocating to Redwood City/San Mateo next February, so hurray for me for I'll have more people to hang out with!

Last Thursday they've very kindly allowed me to tag along on their day-trip to San Francisco City. We spent a couple of hours at the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market where we had yummy hotdogs and burgers for lunch from the street side stalls. I had expected it to be windy but the weather was superb. It was great strolling along the pier and taking in the sights of people reading, chatting and eating against the magnificent backdrop of the Bay Bridge under clear blue skies.

Shortly after lunch we headed towards Pier 39 - Fisherman's Wharf. It was funny as we were hit by fishy smells as soon as we got near the pier. And then we saw it. Basking in the warm afternoon sun was a small colony of sea lions! They weren't barking, like what you'd see on NatGeoTV, just.... sleeping, rolling and lazing around (strangely reminding me of women sunbathing on a French beach). If we need a demonstration of how one should blissfully soak up the California sun without a care in the world, this is it.

The bad thing about winter is that daylight is extremely short and we had to head back home before 4pm to beat the traffic. So after the warm cup of coffee at the sidewalk (and trying to fend off pigeons which were surrounding us in hope of food), we started our journey back to the small town.

Even though it was a rather short trip to town, for the first time I stepped foot on USA, I felt like a happy tourist. Much thanks to Jo and Victor for the fun day out. I suspect they just wanted to let me see the place and have a little bit of fun because they've both been to the Ferry Building and the Fisherman's Wharf before. Needless to say I really appreciated their company... and look forward to more trips together next year!

Stalls of all sorts lined the front of the Ferry Building. The Farmers Market is only available on Tue, Thu and Sat.

With pretty Jo!

Chilli Cheese hotdog... spiced up my taste buds.

The Bay Bridge. I need to get better lens for my camera. My NEX-5 is currently quite limited in terms of zooming range.

Arriving at Pier 39. Jo joked that one of Victor's talents is to get the most number of people in those stretch-arm-and-shoot! photos.

Can you smell... I mean, see them?

These two got my vote for the cutest sea lions of the lot.

Honeymoon no more!

It's officially the first day of work for Mr. Jang and that means I am officially on my own today. My adventure starts now!

Am somewhat familiar with the Bay area now, having driven all over the place to look for the right house in our first week. It was such a headache trying to weigh each house on the scales of accessibility, safety, rental cost and amenities (some don't come with an in-house washing and drying machine!)but it was all worth the effort. We finally settled on a cosy, comfortable unit complete with high ceilings, carpets and an open kitchen! The furniture arrived on the second day so we now have a proper bed, a sofa bed (for guests) and a dining table for four.

And it's such a blessing to have Yvonne and Boon Hui with us the past two weeks. I now know how to get the best deals out of Target, Safeway, Marshalls and Walmart. I also know my way to the nearest outlets - how useful is that for a girl! The walk-in closet is already filled with new bags and clothes from Kate Spade, Coach, CK, A&F, Aeropostale etc. I better paste a note somewhere to remind myself that I need to curb my spending.

Of course, ahem, I have been researching on more meaningful ways to spend my time while Mr. Jang is away at work. This evening I will be meeting a few people from a French speaking club - hope it will be a fun way to practice my french! Have also jotted down a few volunteering opportunities to contribute to the local community while I am here. The ideal thing to do is certainly to study. Stanford, one of the top schools in the world, is barely half an hour away. I'd love to study masters of comms there but it's extremely difficult to get in (they only take in the best!) not to mention the astronomical course fees... company sponsorships are probably the only way to go.

So this is where I'm at now... Thus far it's been a good break because I had Mr. Jang with me. Today is the official 'housewife' day where I will clean the house a bit and also get out of the house to explore on my own, though the order is somewhat reversed since I'm at the library all morning.

Will be uploading some photos soon!

From teary goodbyes to new beginnings

Greetings from USA!

It's our second day in Redwood City and I am still missing everyone from SG madly. A horde of people came to send us off at the airport on Saturday and I've never been more thankful for the show of care and concern from family and friends. I broke tradition and didn't look back and wave until I crossed the immigration counters, because my eyes were already getting red. Goodbyes are hard when you are leaving behind great people.

My favourite girls in the world, Mom and Sis.

 

Little Jovan came to say goodbye. He puked on my jacket as a farewell gift.

BIL with little Jovan fast asleep.

Our final bye bye to everyone on the plane before we flew off.

Transiting at Seoul. A pity that I didn't get to do any shopping during the short stopover.

Meanwhile in SG, Almonn stationed himself on the gigantic slipper bed that used to be in our house. He must have really missed us because he never liked to rest there.

We finally arrived in San Francisco after 17 hours of flight. Except for the occasional bouts of turbulence, the flight was comfortable and I managed to catch a few rounds of sleep. The five big pieces of luggage we brought also looked like they had a smooth ride - despite being stuffed like overweight thanksgiving turkeys and threatening to burst any moment, all arrived in San Francisco in good condition.

Mr. Jang with Abner, Raphael, T-rex, Mandarina Duck and Backpack. Yes we named all our bags.

We were also reminded of God's grace for us the moment we landed. He sent a giant rainbow - the largest I have ever seen - to welcome us as we neared the hotel. And I know that we don't need that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because we already have the One who blesses richly.

Our photo didn't do justice to the giant rainbow. It was so big that the buildings around looked like small lego bricks.

Yvonne and her hubs were very kind to drive down from where they live and meet us on our first day. It was Orientation 101 - we went to Target, Marshalls, Walmart and Ranch etc so that we could stock up on necessities like water. On the second day, they drove us to T-mobile (so that I can finally be connected to the world!) and also to the Great Mall to get a sense of where the good buys are. Really thank God for them.

With Yvonne at Ranch

I am happiest when I see Asian food!

Superb weather on the second day

Getting ready for Black Friday where shopping madness begins!

 

Tomorrow, we will be meeting people from Mr. Jang's office and going for house viewing. Praying for a decent house that is clean, accessible and within our budget. Thereafter, I really want to start looking for a church - Uncle Johnny recommends Menlo Park but if it's too far away, I will try to find a nearby one as I spotted a couple of presbyterian churches around. With that settled, I will start to hunt for things to do.

 

Looking forward to this new phase in life, for I know God has everything under His wings.



'Boys' night out

1.45am: Still acting like we were in Sec 2.

 

 



Friendship is really priceless.

It was everything combined that made me feel very grateful to have these two boys in my life - two bestest guy friends in the world.

Thank you A for the present and JY for the dinner treat before I fly off next week... and most of all, for teaching me how to pump petrol, jumpstart a car and pump tyres in case I need to do so myself in US. (They probably have no idea how fortunate I feel to have the two of them explaining all these 'life saving' skills to me and letting me have hands-on experience at the petrol station.)

The joke about throwing me a pineapple for luck at the departure gate was hilarious, but I am really touched by the care and concern. You guys really rock!

T-12 days to relocation

Mixed feelings. 

I have always dreamed of moving to another country to stay. France would have been ideal of course but the States is not too bad either. Now that we are relocating in less than two weeks, I should be feeling very, very excited.

There's apprehension, no doubt. Of a somewhat unknown territory, a different culture and (gasp!) not working. Despite the inevitable i.e. assuming a new identity as 'the wife who's tagging along', I don't intend to be a parasite and my plan is to study/work so that I can use my time constructively!

Lastly, the emo side of me is starting to rear its head - ugly or not, subject to debate. Having moved places more than a few times in my life I am quite used to goodbyes, so I thought. I'm already starting to miss my parents, sis and most of all, my little buddy. Will he still be around when I come back?

:( 

Despite the mixed feelings, I'd like to put on record my thanks to wonderful friends who have been giving us many rounds of farewell, church friends who prayed for us today and mom who's been very helpful and patient in helping me pack! Not forgetting gugu, gu cheung and dad who flew down to see us before we go. You guys make going off difficult... even if it's only for 1-2 years!