Grow old with me

Something about this photo moved me. I think it speaks of the admiration this uncle has for his lady companion while she went on stage to sing.

He even whipped out his camera and took a photo of her.

I think there is nothing sweeter in this world than knowing that love is still in the air even as you reach your 70s. (^ ^)



Everybody wants to be a hero

It would be quite a pointless question if I were to ask how many people have watched the Avengers. It's one of the hotttest, most action packed movies this season and clearly everyone, or at least 8 out of 10 people, would have seen it.

I grew up with Heman, Sheila and other superheros in HK when I was young too. As a child, I dreamt of flying, doing dangerous stunts, rescuing victims and getting my face plastered all over the newspapers so that the citizens can applaud in awe of my bravery and humanly-impossible heroic acts.

There is nothing wrong with having a hero to look up too, whether they are fictitious or real. It also teaches us that good always triumps over evil. But as I grew older, come across different people and witness different politics in the course of work, I took a different perspective on this issue and ask: Do we really need to be a (super)hero?

1. The superhero wins all the time
The superhero always triumps at the end of the movie. It's a given - no matter what obstacles they come across, they will ride over it (most of the time with their super powers) and gain victory. Good lessons learnt on using your wit, assets and abilities. But learning how to deal with defeats are equally important as gaining victory. Without tasting defeat, and learning how to accept them, you will not experience the true joy of success. Are we then teaching our kids enough about defeat, so that when they grow up, they learn to handle it graciously, take it in their stride, and try harder next time?

2. The superhero is always right
The superhero is always right - his predictions, his reasoning... his words has a sense of aura around him. We always want to be right too, to gain that recognition from others that we smarter, more intelligent, and more enlightened than the rest. But the fact is, we can never always be right! So don't assume for a second that we can. The sooner we accept that, the better we are in being humble in our atttitude in continuous learning.

3. The villain is bad, bad, bad
The villain is always bad in the movie and we are taught that following his ways will lead us to doomsville. But in real life, are we confusing "villains" with just simply nasty people? Putting aside the unpleasant feeling of dealing with theses people, can we find something that we can learn? Develop a habit of staying objective (and sometimes immune) to the meanness of the other person, and then we can find that there is something to be learnt, even from the "villain"!

A night. Packed with action.

Was helping out at Fel's event tonight and was expecting a straight foward event - simple registration duties, taking note of a couple of figures, distributing game sheets and door gifts. Little did I expect that it would be a night filled with drama:
1) Fel cut her finger really badly when she caught it in between the glass door (a spoilt one) as it swung shut. It was literally like a murder scene. Blood was splashed against the glass, dripping down her wrist on the floor and staining the registration table. I think her nail was also split open by the impact. She was ever so calm (like she always is) and I was practically fainting inside. Wanted to get the first aid box but it was beside the stage and the event has already started with Min as GOH. Ran to a nearby shop and nearly screamed for help ("Sorry!!!! First aid, first aid!!!!!!!"). Managed to bundle up her finger together with Yv then gotta redo it again an hour later cos it was just bleeding so badly. She only went to see a doctor after the event is over. Boy, is she my heroine.

2) Saw my former colleague who was there to support Min (I miss them so much!)... it was such a nice surprise cos I didn't expect to see him at all though I did wonder who will be coming down and if I'd know him/her since I was in CS for so long. It's so cool that we are at the same work event together, even though we ain't colleagues anymore!

3) Overheard that someone has fainted while taking part in one of the night's activities. Saw his pale looking face when we changed Fel's dressing at the room beside the hall. Wonder if any media has caught that dramatic moment.

It was still overall a good event - one that I enjoyed despite being really tired by the end of it. I think what makes me feel great is that for the first time since coming, I feel a sense of team spirit. For me, this is what makes me want to stay in a work place. Great colleagues and team work definitely make work fun and worth the effort.

Goodbyes

It was Irys' last day with us at the office on Friday. Although I've only known her for 9 months (we came in at the same time last year), I felt rather attached to her because our characters are quite alike and she is one of the very few people in the office I could truly talk to. That common background from the civil service probably helped... Though there are still nice souls around the current organisation, it is a totally different culture out here. Definitely competitive and not the cosy, family kind of environment from my previous jobs. I will miss her loads! Bye bye girl and hope you will continue to shine in your new job! :(

On Friday, we also said goodbye to the old office in town as we will be moving into a swing space in the wild wild west for the next two months while the current office undergoes renovation. I am actually quite glad to be moving out of the old office, because the place was really getting a tad cluttered from all the stuff handed down from the previous generation of predecessors. It was a painful process of packing and throwing out stuff though and there were quite a few human casualties - poor Irys, in her last few weeks with us, suffered a nose bleed from all the dust from the packing, and I cut myself on the finger from a broken painting. I really hope we can keep the new office tidy!

Une goutte de pluie

Tout ce que je veux, c'est devenir une goutte de pluie. Je voyagerai le monde tout entier et quand j'arrive a la fin de ma vie, j'irais au paradis.

 

Jayesslee in CHC 2 (on 9 Jul 2011)

Have always loved their voices.

Their testimony here is very touching. Maybe because Mom also had cancer before, I can somewhat relate.

Thank God, that He gave Mom another chance at life and to be a testimony of His love - being a volunteer on weekends and a bible study leader on weekdays.

And yes, rejoice in all circumstances!

You jumped...

Over the course of three weeks, I have heard three cases of youngster suicides. Nope, not from the newspapers, but from colleagues and friends which made it all the more "real". I suppose it is nothing new, people choose to end their lives for all sorts of reasons. But it makes me ponder: if you have the courage to jump, why not the courage to live?

It is especially sad to hear young suicide cases because they have so much potential to pick themselves up again after failures. Even if the society seems to give no room for mistakes, can we ourselves learn to break loose from the expectations we or others place on ourselves? It is equally important - learning to succeed and learning to fail.

I don't know if there are any books on learning to fail (I know plenty about learning to succeed). My personal experience from trying to be a perfectionist is to make it a habit to forgive yourself. Forgiving does not equate to justifying your actions or making excuses, but admitting that you were wrong and you made a mistake, sometimes grave enough to hurt more than just yourself. In which case, accept the punishment or consequences with humility, and face tomorrow with a new heart and new hope.

my little buddy

Feeling terribly feverish with an itchy throat since Sunday evening. In fact, I haven't had the time to rest at all the whole week due to vol work on Sat morn and CM duties on Sunday and I was working pretty late last week.

But I couldn't miss seeing my little buddy... wanted to pat his head and to bear hug him though I know he hates it - he probably thinks I am messing up his fur for nothing.

Sis said he has been behaving weirdly, scratching the door (the wrong side of it) in the middle of the night for nothing, barking out of the blue. Definitely signs of old age.

One day, his eyes will fail him but I hope he will always remember those soft touches to his head and the not-so-gentle hugs when I pounce on him. I am always prepared for the day when he will go because I know it will come sooner or late. Till then, I will try to spend as much time with him as I can and hope that he is enjoying his last years on earth with us as a family.

"Surprise!" says God.

"I sent you an email. Read it before you open the letter," B said.

I said a timid "OK" before turning to my comp. It was bonus day (or so they called it) and bosses were handing out letters. But he joked that some of us might need to start packing our bags after opening our letters.

I am about six months into the job and I still haven't received a confirmation letter/email yet. Although HR said no news is good news (meaning confirmation might have already happened without you being informed in this company), the worrisome part of me still went "oh no, is he going to explain why he can't confirm me due to headcount freeze/restructuring etc?" :/

The email read something to the effect of B thinking I did a good job during the short time I am here, and he wants to reflect that in my salary.

I did a double-take when I saw the new figure in the letter. Not because it is a sky-high increment (it isn't), but because it is much more than I expected, given that it's supposed to be pro-rated (if any at all). And certainly it is more than what I think I deserved.

Am once again amazed by all the wonderful surprises God is giving out from time to time. Deeply humbled, and very thankful.

What's your storyline?

Am on 2-days MC from a mild case of food poisoning - technically, 1.5 days since I went back to work this morning and am going to continue working from home today. But it's good to be away from the office. Enjoying the peace and quiet at home, and the ability to just sit in a clean toilet as and when I need to (though my 屁股really开花ed from all the passing of all the what-have-yous). But at least I don't feel like vomitting already. I hate the nausea feeling.

Sunday's sermon touched on our life's storyline. Do we allow God to write the script? He is in fact the script writer of our lives. Sometimes, we deviate from the story he wants us to be in and hurt ourselves, as well as others around us, in the process.

How many times have I done that? Do I actively come back to God's storyline of my life?

In the past, I find it hard to tell what God wants me to do in my life. At decision making points, I would "pray" then haphazard a guess. I have no idea if that decision is right or wrong. Just something that I thought God would want me to do.

But as I grow older, I think God is teaching me how to seek his advice and to look out for the answer to my prayers. I begin to see "signs" of  where He wants me to go, what He wants me to do. And the purpose of putting me in certain situations, both for my own good and for the benefit of others.

Life hasn't changed much since I moved to my new job. In fact, the workload is just as heavy, if not heavier. But I certainly sensed a change in me, something that tells me and reminds me often to slow down, appreciate the things around me, and not to take things so seriously all the time. I feel that I am beginning to enter into another stage of life, going beyond what I used to see into something deeper, a certain sense of peace that can be felt amid the chaos I see.

And I think that is the character God wants me to be in my story. My storyline is being written by a wonderful Creator, and I just need to concentrate on playing my part and be the one He wants me to be!

Month of the travelling roadshow

I feel like I have aged 10 years in the past three weeks. While most people are having a relaxed January getting back into the swing of things after a good December break, I was practically pulling my hair out doing my first ever CEO roadshow. Twenty-one (!!!!) sessions of roadshow with over 3,000 people in total spread across 5 different locations in 9 days within 2 weeks, with sessions starting as early as 8.10am (for registration) and ending as late as 8.30pm in the evening. Four laptops for registration, 24 MAs for rostering, 2 boxes and 20 clipboards for over 950 exit polls. Consolidating daily attendance and doing data entry concurrently at night when I reached home. Arriving at the venue by 7am almost every morning then worrying about 2B who was holding onto 2 lappies but was perpetually late due to traffic jams (bad accidents!)

How did I survived?

And it was probably due to the lack of rest that my cyst problem came back. Have two additional stitches on my face now, on top of the first one. Scarface X 2.

In the midst of all the madness, thank God for providing help in the form of very helpful and diligent MAs (ok most, not all - there was one who made me wonder if he was trying to escape from his duties and was only there for the food). And then, a surprise awaited me on the second last day of the roadshow. When I came back to the office, my colleague grinned and pointed to the table.

It was a handwritten note and a hamper from none other than CEO.

"Dear Grace

With just four roadshows left and Chinese New Year approaching, I want to thank you for managing the roadshows so diligently and to wish you and your family a happy & successful year of the Dragon

恭喜发财 (in ang moh handwritting)

Alex"

Heart melts. And even if it's just a regift (which is likely so cos I don't think CEO will really go and buy a hamper just for his staff), it was really a very kind gesture of appreciation.

Praise the Lord for His never failing providence, grace, comfort and encouragement.

Four times Christmas at Cafe Lumiere

26 Dec, Singapore - Following its soft launch earlier in the month, Cafe Lumiere officially opened its doors to host four Christmas gathering over the long weekend. It first welcomed a care group cum pot luck dinner on Friday evening, which ended at 1.30am and broke the record of previous care groups hosted. It was mainly due to the difficult book of Isaiah, which somehow ended up into a prolonged discussion on tithing. The co-owners, Grace and Mr. Jang, had no recollection of how the topic has gone off the path.

On Christmas eve, Cafe Lumiere hosted a close group of colleagues from Grace's old office, Meeka.  It was the first lunch that Grace ever prepared in the sit down western meal kind of setting. There was pork rib (from NTUC), honey baked ham (from NTUC), wine (from NTUC), and a gigantic log cake (from NTUC). The non-NTUC items were pasta, stringed pineapple and cheese hotdog, and salad with homemade vinaigrette dressing. When asked how she felt on her first attempt to prepare a meal, Grace said: "I was really excited and am just glad that there are no reports of food poisoning thus far! The only negative comment I had was from ex-colleague, Meds, who said my fireplace decor failed... But that's sort of OK coming from Meds!" She quipped.

The Christmas eve dinner session was dedicated to Mr. Jang's JC and majong friends. Interestingly, Cafe Lumiere is also known as MJC - the short form for "Majong Club". True to its name, MJC members presented a majong table as a housewarming gift to the couple. It was quickly put to good use after the members had their Christmas feast and the party ended at 3am in the morning, or so Grace heard as she has already collapsed into her four-poster bed slightly after midnight due to the long day spent in the kitchen.

As for Christmas day, it was a relief for the owners that the party only started around 7pm. Grace and Mr. Jang were exhausted from helping out at the Children Ministry in the morning. Some of the junior kids apparently ate the chocolate stars that they hid in the santuary for the older kids. The latter could not find the complete set of stars for them to piece together the words of "SAVE", "(L)AMB", "H(O)PE" and "LOV(E)". The couple spent some time trying in vain to locate the stars which had mysteriously gone missing.

At 7pm, Grace and Mr Jang welcomed their friends and family to Cafe Lumiere for the grand finale Christmas Day dinner. And what a feast the group had - it was all from a catering service! But it was all made cosy and personalised by the wonderful presents, desserts, and wine brought by their pals. The Christmas spirit was further enhanced by the fact that everyone came dressed in the theme of "Winter" albeit with various interpretations - tropical winter, temperate winter, but luckily no north-pole winter as the air-con could only go as low as 17C. Come gift exchange time, everyone had a fantastic time unwrapping the goodies brought by one another. Even Grace's brother-in-law, OSH, bought a proper gift from L'Occitane this time round. Suspiciously though, he did not know what L'Occitane is when asked. Being the good wife that she is, Est, Grace's sister, refused to comment when asked if she bought the gift on his behalf. The night ended on a high note as the group laughed their guts out watching an old movie, 唐伯虎点秋香.

We bring you some photo highlights from the dinner finale, which is not a lot as Grace was either too busy in the kitchen or at the dining area eating. For the rest of the other events, there were no photos taken from Grace's phone cam (she totally forgot).

Cafe Lumiere wishes all a Merry Christmas once again!

Cafe Lumiere co-owner Grace (right) with her favourite sister Esther (left) and dog Almonn. She calls them collectively: Sismonn.

Almonn was almost put up for sale, if not for his hidden ferocious character. 

The Crazy Trio from Sec One. From left: Grace, Chick, and Hwei.

(*Grace realised that she also forgot to take a Christmas photo with cafe co-owner and husband, Mr. Jang. Oopsie!)

20th anniversary 万岁!

Mr. Jang and I emceed for gugu and gucheung's 20th anniversary dinner at Shangri-La hotel today. It was a wonderful evening of worship and it felt great to be in a room full of people that shared a common love for God.

At the end of the day, a marriage definitely needs to be centered on God in order for it to work. He needs to be involved in every process of home building.

Praise God for gugu and gucheung's lovely marriage! :)

Birthday log cake! :)



Colleagues gave me a birthday log cake and $40 Capitaland vouchers as birthday present today. Yes, another chocolate cake! Yippie!

To be honest, it was a little awkward cos my new colleagues (except for Irys!) are all quite serious and I thought this birthday celebration felt more like a birthday SOP rather than a genuine celebration. But I really appreciated the gesture and the thought that went behind buying the cake and the vouchers. The cake tasted super yummy (belgium dark chocolate!)

I sincerely think that it is important to have more get togethers like this. It's important to build a culture that is not solely focused on work alone. We are all humans behind the computers and emails afterall.

Hopefully, there will be more occasions for us to get together like this, not just for birthdays or Christmas. A comfortable and welcoming office environment - that's what makes people want to come to work.

So bosses, take the lead and make the difference!

martinis + cakes = happy me

I didn't put the group photo here because I am not sure if they will be comfortable having their photo uploaded on blogs (FB is another matter!) so I just put this happy photo of myself with two glasses of lychee martini.

Am very grateful that they had included me in the celebration of the December babies even though they are more of Mr. Jang's buddies. I seldom join in the gatherings and I always hide behind Mr. Jang but they are always very nice and kind. I even have birthday presents and a mini cake!

Thank you, thank you! :)

More than just moving...

"Survived" my first week at the new house. I used that word because it was with much reluctance that I came to terms with the fact that yes indeed I had moved out of my parents' house. I had a shock when Mr. Jang told me last Sunday that we would not be going back, when I had thought that the move was only temporary. I felt that I was suddenly yanked out of my home, and I didn't have time to say my goodbyes.

I still miss everything terribly. I only pulled through the first week because I can still see Sis and BIL regularly especially when I go to work cos Sis will swing by to pick me up and when I go home to get my stuff. This and the fantastic surprise birthday party that the gang gave me two days ago. Totally made my day.

I miss my little buddy. No matter how hard Mr. Jang tried to tell me that Almonn is no longer my dog (I don't believe it for a single moment) and that he cannot come cos he will scratch the furniture and dirty the place if he comes, I am still very attached to him and I miss him every single day. I think what Mr. Jang doesn't realise is that I can always earn back the money used to refurbish the house or buy back the furniture if there is any damage. But the feelings you have for your pet is something that can never be replaced. I appreciate the efforts that he has made to make the transition less painful and I probably sound selfish when I say this, I will not remember how nice my first house is or how beautiful the furniture is, but I will remember that I miss Almonn every single day that I moved in and that I am forbidden to bring him here with me. :(



First night at new place

The last item on the list i.e. the Internet connection, is finally up. I have officially moved in!

After close to nine months of dragging our feets and then getting a contractor to work on the house and finally moving some of the essential stuff over, I can now say that WE HAVE OFFICIALLY MOVED IN!

To be honest, we are far from staying here on a permanent basis. Not yet, at least. We are only here because we need to vacate the study room at Dad and Mom's place for Uncle Chris and Aunt Jessie. They are visiting us from Canada and will be here until Monday.

Nonetheless, this is still an exciting development. We will be spending our first night at the new house in the new four-poster bed. I have just tested the water pressure and water temperature at the bathroom and it was amazing.

I am going to miss Sis, BIL and Almonn so much once I start staying here on a more regular basis and when the novelty wears off. Mr. Jang has a lot of entertainment at night and I will probably be spending loads of evenings alone at our new home.

 

Perhaps I can sneak back to Mom's place as and when possible. Or, I can always bring my security blanket over so that I can still have the smell of home.

Overseas work trips rock!

I am on the executive floor of Langham Place, lying on the bed in my bathrobe with a specially requested green tea scented pillow beside me, ready to take me to the sweetest dream of dreams. I just had a nice, hot bath, pampering myself with the body scrub while watching the news on the plasma TV at the same time through the glass window. And tomorrow, tommorrow I will enjoy my quiet breakfast at the lounge which has a not-too-spectacular-but-good-enough view of the Mong Kok area.

I am throwing all thoughts of discontinuing with this job and finding other one out of the full length glass window... for these three days.  For now I will just concentrate on enjoying the perks of this job.

(P/S: oh yes... of course of course I find the course useful but that's not the main point...)

Breakfast at executive lounge Club L.

This post-it from the hotel brought a smile to my face. Yes, we need to locate our button and shut down. 

Hubs the 阿Q

I needed constant counselling from Mr. Jang these few days cos I simply don't understand how I can feel so down all the time. Asked him what my strengths and shortcomings are yesterday and he said, "Your strength is the ability to think systematically, plan ahead, and do things with consistency. But that also means that you are less flexible with the way you do things so when things don't go according to your plans, you become unhappy. You have to learn to be inconsistent and try different ways if something doesn't work out, like me."

I said aren't you worried that people might say you are incapable or do not have principles/perseverance etc etc? He said, "Why do you always feel you need to explain your actions to people? Don't have to keep being worried if people will think badly of you. Most of the time people don't. Even if people want to say bad things, just let it be. Will you die? No you won't."

He said this is what he called his "阿Q精神" and that because he has already come into contact with so many different types of people during his school days and working life, he learnt to keep this fighting and positive spirit no matter how people trampled on him. He said this is the difference between me and him, someone from a protective home environment with good grades from good schools, and someone from a poorer family with average grades from neighbourhood schools. He has more opportunities to learn life lessons eariler and to do things in more than one way especially when the "template ways" don't work.

I have honestly told him many times before that I think he talks too much for a guy. 

At times like these though, I know why God put a talkative guy in my life instead of a studious one, which has always been my type. While the studious one can probably give me strategic advice, he will never be able to offer me these weird perspectives and put a smile on my face (or make me roll my eyes) like this talkative guy does.

God knows best.

Seeking a second opinion + going to the plastic surgeon

After endless trips to the company doctor and unsuccessful tries to sew up the wound, I finally took Mom's advice to go for a second opinion at a proper surgeon. Dr Lim was Mom's surgeon more than 10 years back and I was really skeptical about his skills (am sure his eyesight would have deteriorated since he was already 50 plus ten years back).

My trip to his clinic turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. He took a look at the infected wound, thought for a while, and told me honestly that while he is a surgeon, he has never done any surgery on the face and hence he strongly recommends me to go to a plastic surgeon as "it is the right thing to do". When I told him that I have been trying to avoid a plastic surgeon because of the cost, he chuckled and started dialing on his phone. He told his friend that he is sending a patient over ("a young pretty girl") and "she said she has been avoiding a plastic surgeon cos you guys are too expensive."

Am not sure if it helped in giving me a good price but after going to the plastic surgeon (another grandfatherly figure at a rundown clinic at Lucky Plaza), I felt much better and the pinch of $1000 for the operation seemed less painful cos he really seems to know what he is talking about when he explained the situation, the options and the procedures. He said he has to slice more skin around the wound cos it has already turned bad and was caving in. By cutting fresh skin, the scar would be smoother and flatter. He also wanted to stitch 3 layers (because the hole is too big and deep) but in the end he opted for a deeper stitch instead because the flesh is too brittle (or I think he used the word "fibrous").

The process of lying on the operation bed again was actually quite painful... (I have been on it almost on a daily basis from 2 weeks ago). It's the fear of pain combined with the feeling of helplessness. When they place a cloth over my face with just one opening for the cheek area and a light shining at that wound, I honestly feel like I'm at the mercy of whoever it is that is going to cut me up. Then the sharp pains will come either from the jabs or the poking of the area.

I wish with all my heart that this time it will really, really heal. I have a feeling that it will. Dr Chua actually gave me a choice to either wait a few more days to be 100% sure that the wound is clean before sewing it up, or to sew it up now because it looks clean enough. I took the chance to sew it up now cos I am really am quite drained over the whole process. I am praying hard that the next time I post, I will already be on the road to recovery.

P/S: I once again thank my family members and friends for all the care and concern shown through calls, texts etc. It's really very touching to know that everyone is praying for me and trying to cheer me up. I will try my very best to keep my spirits up.