When giving is not helping?

You know, there's no 'market rate' for street performers in Singapore. Basically, we give whatever we want to, be it a few cents or a couple of dollars.

When we were in LA a few months ago, we saw an unexpected scene: A passer-by got scolded by a street performer on what the latter deemed as too little a giving. The lady walked away angrily with a "you bet this is the last time I'll do it." Oops.

I normally give a dollar (and luckily for me all seem appreciative). I thought at least given the hard work they put in for the street performances, they should at least get something decent. And frankly I define 'decent' as a dollar.

What about the homeless? I have my fair share of encounters with homeless people on the streets, at gas stations, outside supermarkets... even had a couple knocking on my car window. Each time they cried "Madam, madam!" I just sort of smile and shake my head.

Not that I don't think they deserve help, but because I don't know how or how much to help. Unlike street performers, the homeless tends to come really near and that doesn't give me much time to respond. I feel uncomfortable digging in my purse for something in their presence.

And sometimes, they asked for food which we normally don't have with us. Today, as Mr. Jang and I were coming out of Starbucks, an old man asked us to give him food. After some hesitation, we went to the nearby Safeway to get a loaf of bread figuring that it could at least help him last a long while. But it turns out that he's not into wheat bread, chuckling and saying that "only birds eat wheat" (really?) and he can't carry a loaf of bread everywhere (why not?). Maybe he was expecting pepperoni pizza or something.

I had thought that it's always a great help whatever you give. Small amount, big amount. Bread or meat. Apparently this isn't so. Mr. Jang said perhaps only the truly desperate ones will appreciate people's help whatever that may be. I am not looking for appreciation or gratitude, but perhaps a little understanding on why some feel offended when help is not in the form of what they expected. Any amount of money is still money; any form of food is still food, isn't it?

Perhaps I should find out more about the psychology of these people, while I munch on that rejected loaf of wheat bread.