More than a blow

Was feeling lazy last evening and asked Mr. Jang if he could please help me blow dry my hair before I sleep. I suddenly missed those days in my childhood where grandma would do that for us.

And I was thinking it'd be fun getting the hubs to do it. Like, "Welcome to my world where make-up, hair dryer and manicure is a matter of life and death!"

I demonstrated the right way to use the hair dryer, but half-expected him to get my hair all tangled up, or give up halfway. He didn't. In fact, he got all serious and did a good job on the first try. Hair is nice, soft and smooth.

But the end result is not important. What I want to say is that, while I sat there hugging my knees and waiting for him to be done, I thought "give me all the branded bags, new gadgets, exotic vacations or expensive dinners in the world, but I wouldn't exchange it for this experience!" 

I have a husband who doesn't mind blow drying my hair (or doing the laundry or washing the dishes or... the list goes on). More importantly, he does all this with a cheerful heart. 

I think I'm really blessed.

3rd month promotion

So I have received more favourites since the 2nd month promotion. But I couldn't send the coupon codes via Etsy convo without the other party starting one first (it's part of the rules). So that's no good. Big learning point for me!

On the plus side, someone from Spain asked if I could trade Autumn in my Heart for photography services, or top up cash for other items she had. But I declined after thinking long and hard about it. I didn't want to fork out cash for her items; neither does she. That's how trading works! But it's still a compliment nonetheless.

And I had milestone - received a peak of 117 views in a day. It's definitely a yay! ^ ^

So I'm into my third month now, and decided to do a more direct holidays promo. Expanding to free international shipping as well since I know there are overseas buyers!

From my Etsy shop:

"Happy Holidays PROMO!! Receive FREE shipping with your purchase from now till 30 Nov.

For US: Please enter code 'OCT13SHIP' - no minimum purchase is required.

For other countries: Please enter code 'OCT13SHIP2INT' - minimum purchase of $20 is required. 

It's the season to be jolly! Happy shopping!"

Let's see how this will go... woohoo!

我長大了 - 張彥博

This MV of my cousin never fail to touch me. How he grew up from a broken hearted young boy to someone who matures with God's guidance. My best gor gor. <3 br="">

 

God is always in the moment

Heard another baby story yesterday which reminds me that every decision-making moment, big or small, God is there.

Pray. Listen. Follow. Have faith.

What did I say about learning along the way?

So I thought it'd be nice to send coupon codes via Etsy conversations for those who have liked my item. I mean, I'd be happy to receive discounts on the things I marked as favourite!

What I didn't know was that there are strict rules for promotions:

You must not use Conversations to send unsolicited advertising or promotions, requests for donations or "spam."

If someone adds your item or shop to a Favourite List, that is not an invitation to send a Conversation to that person.

Oops. So much for trying to be entrepreneurial.

Thankfully one member (the first who ever favourite my items) gave me a friendly heads-up and shared about other channels, like creating email lists. (I think she wants to warn me before Etsy throws me out.)

After I sent out an 'Oops I'm sorry I'm still learning' message to others (more convos... haha) I also received replies like "no problem :)".

Thank God for kind souls. And I've also since changed the promo wording to coupon codes will ONLY be sent if you alert me via convo.

I think if I'm an easily discouraged person, I'd have left Etsy in my first month cos setting up something, no matter how small, seems sooooo hard!

But being the thick-skinned person that I am, I will continue trying. Yep.

2nd month promotion

Into the second month of my so-called business, so am doing a little promotion.

From my Etsy shop:

"PROMO: From now till 31 Oct, receive free domestic shipping in US when you favourite our shop or any of our items (coupon code will be sent to you via Etsy conversation)! To thank you for your purchase, we will also send you a $2 off thank you code to be used for your next purchase (thank you code expires on 31 Dec).

Have fun shopping!"

Learned to create coupon codes for the first time. So exciting... let's see if it works! ^ ^

Is romance dead?

I was chatting with a group of old colleagues in WhatsApp and one of them said there's no love at first sight. And that after marriage, you have what you called the 'best friends' kind of relationship, love that is comfortable.

But not romantic.

Well I believe passion is important in a relationship, regardless of length. I recalled writing a post in Feb this year, asking whether we can be lovers and friends at the same time. This is because I have the most loving husband, one who dotes on and spoils me a lot. And yet, I miss that adolescent hit-you-in-the-gut-make-your-heart-race feeling.

I think I finally found the answer. That romance does exist. You can be a lover and a friend at the same time in your marriage.

It all depends on you.

You want to be surprised with gifts once in a while? Do that for your hubs. You want to be rained with kisses and hugs every day? Do that for your hubs. You want to be treated like the most important person? Do that for your hubs. You want to receive text saying "I miss you" and "can't wait to come home"? Do that for your hubs.

Love and romance is not magic. It's not even work. It's a blessing that you give to your spouse. And it's reciprocal.

So you want romance in your marriage?

Give romance and then see the blessings happen.

Quoi de neuf? What's new?

It's been too long since I last wrote... What have I been up to?

1. Taking up regular church duties. Yes, with children again!
2. Part-time social media work. I'm on trial till the end of the month before they decide if I am suitable for the job. Client's key concern is time-zone difference but I do hope I can get it on a longer-term basis.
3. A long holiday to Toronto and New York. In fact, we just came back on Sunday!

FaceTimed with Mom today and towards the end, she asked nonchalantly: "Any news?"

I gave her a blank face cos I thought we just shared the latest for the past half an hour.

She decided to ask directly: "Are you pregnant?"

My eye immediately popped out with a "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M PREGNANT? AM I FAT???"

Moms. Sigh.

(For the record, yes I've put on weight during the trip but no I'm not pregnant.)

SGUS: My small handicrafts project

I have finally gotten around to setting up my own crafts shop on Etsy.

In one's life time, there's probably a lot of things that you wonder about but never gotten around to doing. For me, it's another thing checked off my list:

1. Study overseas
2. Sell my own products online
3. Write a book
4. Speak fluent French
5. Set up a themed blog (does my California  blog count?)

Why handicrafts? Given the amount of time spent on idea generation, sourcing for materials and creating those products by hand, it's not a project that could earn me big bucks versus the amount of effort put in. I'll be happy to just break even.

But it's a hobby that I've had since young. I've always liked making things. Any materials. Anything. There's joy in creating pretty things from scratch and finding that it's usable.

There's a lot of work turning a hobby into a business. I've learnt so much the past week. I need to learn how to price the items, create an inventory list, balance capital injection vs expenses vs revenue, think about promotion platforms... I'm learning along the way.

It's a fun journey.

So, take a look if you are interested in handmade products. Will be happy to have feedback - all are welcome!



A prototype created from an old piece of clothing

Baby O, the super girl

Thanks Wini for the first photo of me and baby O!

I want to share this photo of me with baby O, who is perhaps the most determined baby I've seen. She was born a couple of months early due to my friend's pre-existing health conditions. When I first met her in the hospital in January two weeks after she was born, her head was so tiny that it barely covered my palm (even with her oversized wool beanie on); she lay in an incubator most of the time. Still, she had the funniest expressions and could afford dreamy baby smiles.

 

Yesterday, I popped by Wini's house again to get some books from her and to visit them again. Baby O has grown so much from that tiny baby I first saw. At six months, you could already tell that she loves company, wants to talk ("ah gar gar gar"), and can't wait to crawl and walk (her kicks were pretty strong!)  

 

Wini shared that O is still considered small compared to her peers since her corrected age is 4 months. But what's important is that she can eat and sleep well, and stays healthy and happy. It's a joy to sense her cheerful disposition and to see her become a healthy growing baby just like any other.

 

I thought back on the circumstances in which baby O came into this world. God gives that breathe of life to babies, and plants in them that strong will to live. I think it's really, really awesome.



Thank you

I went to bed last night feeling extremely lousy and when I woke up this morning I sent a text to Mr. Jang just to let him know I'm awake.

All of a sudden, I heard pounce, pounce, pounce. Then a big flop.

It was Mr. Jang landing in a heap on the bed next to me.

He must have sensed my depression since last night and decided to work from home today. Despite my acting normal and expressionless face, he took the initiative to speak to me about what was bugging me. What followed were sobbing and wailing (on my part) and bear hugs (on his part).

I hate acting like a child and crying. I look stupid with puffy eyes and a red face. And I wanted to push this big bear away.

Two hours later, after calming down and having lunch, I thank him silently for being the bigger person, for putting down his pride and being honest with me too.

Thank you, Mr. Jang. I don't know if you are the best husband in the world, but I know you are that precious tree that protects and comforts when the rest of my world gets tough.

月亮代表我的心ukulele

Got a bit bored with strumming and was inspired by a fellow ukulele learner... so I bought a book on finger style for ukulele. I can only do simple fingering for now but it definitely adds more fun to playing.

Here's 邓丽君's月亮代表我的心 in ukulele.

For fellow ukulele learners, here are a few finger styles that you can try. Credits to my friend, Ryan, for sharing these! It takes loads of practise and I'm still trying to get the hang of it.

4-3-2-1
4-1-3-2
2-3-1-4

1&4-3-2&4-3 (4 beats)
1&4-3-2&4-3-2&4 (3 beats)
4-3-1&2-3-1&2-3 (3 beats)
3-4-1&2-4-1&2-4 (3 beats)

The book also has other methods such as 'The Pinch', 'The Claw', and 'The Scoop'. The names sound awfully painful, don't they? Hope I can master them one day.

Another useful ukulele site: http://ukupu.com/

Just an update

These days it seems like I haven't been blogging... but I have. Just on another platform to note down the events that's happening in our life in USA. I've created a link to the US blog Dancing in California's Sunshine on the side bar. Read on if you want to find out what we've been up to.

On a separate note, happy birthday to my dear baby nephew who has just turned one year old. We love you!



BIL and Sis with baby Jovan, whose sole attention was on the giant cake.

When giving is not helping?

You know, there's no 'market rate' for street performers in Singapore. Basically, we give whatever we want to, be it a few cents or a couple of dollars.

When we were in LA a few months ago, we saw an unexpected scene: A passer-by got scolded by a street performer on what the latter deemed as too little a giving. The lady walked away angrily with a "you bet this is the last time I'll do it." Oops.

I normally give a dollar (and luckily for me all seem appreciative). I thought at least given the hard work they put in for the street performances, they should at least get something decent. And frankly I define 'decent' as a dollar.

What about the homeless? I have my fair share of encounters with homeless people on the streets, at gas stations, outside supermarkets... even had a couple knocking on my car window. Each time they cried "Madam, madam!" I just sort of smile and shake my head.

Not that I don't think they deserve help, but because I don't know how or how much to help. Unlike street performers, the homeless tends to come really near and that doesn't give me much time to respond. I feel uncomfortable digging in my purse for something in their presence.

And sometimes, they asked for food which we normally don't have with us. Today, as Mr. Jang and I were coming out of Starbucks, an old man asked us to give him food. After some hesitation, we went to the nearby Safeway to get a loaf of bread figuring that it could at least help him last a long while. But it turns out that he's not into wheat bread, chuckling and saying that "only birds eat wheat" (really?) and he can't carry a loaf of bread everywhere (why not?). Maybe he was expecting pepperoni pizza or something.

I had thought that it's always a great help whatever you give. Small amount, big amount. Bread or meat. Apparently this isn't so. Mr. Jang said perhaps only the truly desperate ones will appreciate people's help whatever that may be. I am not looking for appreciation or gratitude, but perhaps a little understanding on why some feel offended when help is not in the form of what they expected. Any amount of money is still money; any form of food is still food, isn't it?

Perhaps I should find out more about the psychology of these people, while I munch on that rejected loaf of wheat bread.

$10 in my pocket

It's one of those rare moments of panic that we don't have enough money...

It's a known fact that Mr. Jang and I are here on a meagre package from his company. We know that such opportunities to see the world, to work in another company, to stay in a place other than home is rare.

There are certainty no regrets in coming to US. We are not staying in the dumpsters. We managed to rent a small but cosy flat in a nice and safe neighbourhood. We bought a car from a friend at a cheap price. We have enough to eat and enjoy the occasional restaurant treats and road trips. We go to the outlets to hunt for good bargains - often lured by the discounts and buying more than we should!

We have enough to get by. But today, as I was doing case files for the volunteer work, I was suddenly hit by a sense of panic. It suddenly dawned unto me that I haven't been earning money for half a year. The last I checked my US bank account, I only have around $2000 to get by till the end of the year. That works out to be less than $10 a day.

I'm silently scolding myself for not being more thrifty. What happened to my disciplined 5 euros/day life as a French student? What happened to the buy-only-if-you-absolutely-need-it-and-choose-the-cheapest-option principle?

Enough with this senseless spending. I will get back on track with my good habits of a budget life.

Rule #1: REALLY?? YOU NEED IT?? - You have enough bags, wallets, clothes shoes.
Rule #2: REPLACE [DESIRED] WITH AN ALTERNATIVE - Need something? Think of the stuff at home and see if you can substitute it with what you have. Applies to clothes all the way to cooking sauces.
Rule #3: REDUCE CARBON - Yes. Surprise! Read in natural light, jog in the sun, walk to destination if you have time. All are zero cost.

I realised that I spent the most when I have visitors. Not just because I eat out more often, I also tend to shop whenever they shop - that's a killer! I must, must, must remind myself that while it's Ok to spend on new experiences such as sightseeing, I must stop the bad habit of shopping like a tourist.

Thrifty spender. REBORN.

Ageing?

Ok this is a confession post.

I've been doing rather stupid things lately.

I've been honked at numerous times when I am driving. Hey, I really did not see that car coming. I've been turning on the wrong stove top. I could have sworn I was cooking with the right one until I saw smoke coming from the adjacent stove top and realized I'm stir frying on a slightly warm but not hot pan.

Today this is the ultimate. I moved around 3 gas pumps because I thought the card reader were all spoilt, only to realize that I had swiped the credit card the wrong way. AND THEN, hear this, I drove off without putting back on my gas cap!! The guy behind me honked and told me. Argh!!!! Like, how much more stupid can I get?

If I'm like this in my thirties, how much worse would it be in my sixties, seventies?!

Home trip

Since I was already in Hong Kong, I figured that I might as well make a trip back to Singapore to see how everyone's doing, and mainly to keep Mom company because she was having a series of health check-ups. Mom has always been there for me for major medical events - wisdom tooth extraction, facial cyst removal - and I want to do the same for her knowing how much it means for the patient.

It felt weird to be home at first because I have sort of gotten used to the life in USA. I was practically melting the whole week - it was too hot! But it's priceless when you get to spend time with friends and family. I swam with little Jovan twice (I think he's a fish; he's happiest in the water) and had many breakfasts and high teas with Mom.

It's totally a family bonding time. In fact, this one week in Singapore was worth so much more than my being physically there but working my life away. God really bless me by providing me with a different perspective. Thank you for taking me out of the work force temporarily and making me see.

Jovan was leaning so happily into the water, we had to hold on to the mushroom in case he flips over. 

My chocolate tartlette at Paul

Just a simply croissant for Mom

The happy hairy boy

Goodbye, 大婆婆

She was always old, quiet and awkward. A little out of place in family gatherings.

I recalled Mom telling me when I was little that it was a unhappy relationship between her, my grandpa and grandma. She was my grandpa's first wife. Apparently, my grandpa was forced to marry her upon her father's request but the one he really loves is my grandma, the second wife.

I guess it was really complicated back then and I was certainly in no position to comment. But I often wonder what was going through her mind all these years. Unloved? Grandpa has always stayed with Grandma while she stayed alone in a small flat at Wong Dai Sin, a low-income area. When she got older and frailer, an uncle out of good intentions married a Chinese woman to help take care of her. An ugly confrontation ensued when my aunt later found out that 大婆婆 was tied to a chair all day.

So she went to the old folks' home. It was a nice building on top of a hill, opposite Queen Mary hospital in Pok Fu Lam. Because of the close proximity to my parents' place, we visited her a few times when we were in Hong Kong. She was extremely pleased to see us and even more happy when we gave her a red packet for Chinese New Year. I never knew if she took notice of us cos we are not her direct sons/daughters/grandchildren. But she remembered our names. She said my father was the most obedient of the lot. She was sad when we said we had to leave. I told myself to develop a photo of us with her, so that she can stick it by her bedside wardrobe.

Days before her death, before I even know she was getting weaker, I finally had that photo developed. I was going to ask BIL to take it back for me. That photo didn't make it. I wished I had done it earlier. I had more than a year to do so. So I don't know what to do with the photo now. I will just take it back with me when I fly back tomorrow for the funeral.

I realised that no matter whether you are close to that person or not, losing a family member is painful. So 大婆婆, rest well in heaven. You will have plenty of love now, as a cherished child of God. No more suffering.

A lover or a friend?

This morning when I woke up, I saw that Mr. Jang has once again helped me plug my iPad2 in the charger. On normal days, my towel, which I usually hang on the dining chair to dry the previous night, would be in the bathroom so that I can just stumble in from a groggy sleep and take my morning shower. My bedroom slippers would be within reach of my feet.

I'm not ungrateful for all the sweet deeds. In fact, I think I have a wonderful hubs. But?

Two days ago when I was whatsapping my girlfriends Happy V-Day, a sense of nostalgia swept over me. I missed our secondary school days where the excitement builds up way before, we discussed what we or our classmates might be getting from 'steads', we went all bright-eyed and giggly. As Hwei put it aptly, the excitement and innocence of V-Day... and now it's like so nothing!

I didn't have many relationships before. No.1 was really out of curiosity. I broke off with No.2 because it felt too much like friends although people said he really liked me then. Surprisingly, I had the longest ever ding dong with No.3 although it swung from fun times to big fights and back. It tugged at my heart the most. (Disclaimer: I do not miss any of them in the romantic way.)

Life is good now. I'm married to a great guy and I really can't imagine life without him.

Perhaps, I am just missing that adolescent, hit-you-in-the-gut kind of feeling now. Perhaps, we are too old for that. Or are we?

How to balance the steadfastness and security of a friend with the passion, mystery and wonders of a lover? Can we have our cake and eat it?

Tell me I'm not alone in this.

Life is... to live.

I drove a friend to a clinic at Stanford for her prenatal check-up today because her husband is away at a meeting in the city. A sweet lady whom I met once and got to know through an ex-colleague.

We went for lunch together before the appointment and chatted casually about life in USA. I knew from her blog that it hasn't been an easy pregnancy because she had pre-existing health conditions. I had expected her check-up to be long which I didn't mind at all and was all ready to wait with my book till she was done.

What I didn't expect was that after she came out from the doctor's, she told me that she had to do additional tests and might have to stay in the hospital till her delivery in March. I didn't understand fully what the complications are but that her condition might deteriorate very fast and the doctors wanted to err on the side of caution. I drove her to the hospital and offered to wait with her but she told me to go home first because it will be a long wait.

I'm not sure why I feel very down after hearing the news. Once again it hit me how often we take our own health for granted. I push my brain, my heart, my eyes, my back to the point of pain for work, and then to de-stress I load my body with wine, beer, fried/processed food. I never love my health.

I never stop to let myself breathe and enjoy life until now.

Funny how when I look back at the happiest moments of my life, it was when I was living on a budget. There are so many things I can't do when I am living on a budget that I start to take advantage of the free and cheap things I can do. Borrow books from the library, take a walk in the park, call parents/grandparents to talk, cook, exercise... and all these makes me feel that I'm consciously living.

Happiness really, really comes in taking time to live.

 

Third wedding anniversary!

How time flies! Mr. Jang and I have reached the 3-year milestone!

It's going to be a 2-day celebration again, as with all important dates here because of the time zone difference. Today it's just a simple dinner at home with his favourite 嫲嫲鸡粒 (yes he ate that two days in a row and he is still not sick of it for some reason) and I received a pair of gloves as a surprise present! Haha! It's the colourful ones that I saw at Mollie Stone's, and the pair of gloves made this house-elf very happy.

It's gonna be dine-out celebration tomorrow. Can't wait! :)

Burnt veggies which nonetheless taste ok!

My new cleaning gloves.

One of my funny poses... and I just realised I'm in my PJs. Oops.

All things cute!

Found these really cute gloves at Mollie Stone's. Guarantee to glam up your kitchen moments. I definitely want to buy one when I'm heading back home, if they are still in stock!

The cashier also paid us a compliment by asking if we are over 21 years old and old enough to drink when we bought a moscato. Thank you thank you from this 30 something couple.

They come in assorted colours!

Hmmm... swollen eyes cos I seldom wake up early nowadays.

Cutesy Hello Kitty shower cap

My shower cap tore last week, which resulted in me getting my hair ends totally wet in the morning. Made a mental note to get a good one when I go to the supermarket.

Was at Target this evening after dinner and surprise, surprise! After scouting the whole supermarket, the only shower cap I saw was a Hello Kitty one! Not that I mind. But what I failed to realise is that it's really for kids. I managed to stuff my hair into the shower cap at home (here's how it looks... how cute!) but I could feel the blood circulation in my head cutting off.

I'll have to return it or risk suicide by squeezing my brain into this tiny shower cap. Boohoho!

Saved by chocolate

Had a bad bout of cramps this month, an unusual attack as the last time I had it that bad was in junior college, where I puked in the school toilet and Mom had to fetch me home.

 

It must be the amount of coffee I've been drinking here. Caffeine worsens the cramp. That includes green tea too.

 

I used to take chocolate to relieve the pain but have been avoiding it cos it gives me an outbreak almost immediately. But it was so bad and I didn't have Ponstan in the house, so the only thing I did was to fix a a cocoa drink. Surprisingly, it helped a lot... and almost immediate relief too.

 

(Also used the new Starbucks mug to keep it warm. Oh yes, I got sold into the whole Starbucks culture here, coffee and mug and all the Christmas coffee editions and hence the overdose of caffeine!!)

 

Now I shall pray that this week will pass by really quickly so that I can get back to my normal life...

 

New Year's Eve

I called Mr. Jang when I woke up today at 2pm.

"Dear, I've waken up."

Mr. Jang gave me his usual what-you-slept-till-now? reply. He is forever amused at how late I can sleep till when I have the chance. And gosh do I have all the chance in the world now.

"I am going to eat cup noodles now."

Pause. Then I said something which I haven't said for a long time.

"Dear, I am very happy. Thank you for bringing me along to US."

He chuckled at the other end of the line. I imagined him shaking his head.

Sleep does wonders to a woman. Physical, mental, emotional. Really.

I am a happy woman now.