我長大了 - 張彥博

This MV of my cousin never fail to touch me. How he grew up from a broken hearted young boy to someone who matures with God's guidance. My best gor gor. <3 br="">

 

God is always in the moment

Heard another baby story yesterday which reminds me that every decision-making moment, big or small, God is there.

Pray. Listen. Follow. Have faith.

A quiet weekend

Have been watching the news on and off about the shooting and tearing every time I see survivors or families sharing their stories. The most heart-wretching one was of the principal's family. Her husband said he no longer feel angry at her for putting her life in danger. She had asked her staff to hide while she went out to confront the gunman - she was shot dead. When the reporter asked the daughter what would she say to her mom if she were here, she paused and wept: "Come back... come back..."

The pain is so real.

In between the news updates, Mr. Jang streamed Saturday Night Live on his Mac (we still haven't bought a proper TV). Definitely a good relief from all the sad news that's going around this country. We could all use a laugh or two in these solemn times. Ha.

This morning's sermon spoke about the kind of gift we could give God this Christmas. Afterall he gave us his son more than two thousand years ago. God loves justice. We could give him justice, not in terms of being judgemental and taking revenge in our own hands, but by being agents of change at home and in society to ensure that everyone (children, adult, elderly) are being treated fairly and given a fair chance at life.

A fair chance at life indeed... Sincerely hope that individually and collectively, the people of this nation can put a stop to all these senseless violence and give the young (and the old) a safe environment to grow and live.

Kids in the house!

The joy of being a Sunday School teacher/helper is... interacting with the kids! Today we invited the worship team over for a little post-PSLE get-together cum "meeting" to discuss the songs for the next two months.

 

First time we are doing that, and it was because one of the older ones said it's better to give them heads-up on what songs we choose, so that they can lead the session better. 

 

So we had pizza, fried chicken wings, fries, potato chips, coke etc. It was a short two hours and we probably screamed the whole estate down. But it was great having this bubbly bunch over; their unlimited level of energy was almost contagious.

 

Pizza by the balcony.

 

"What songs should we choose?"

It was quite funny how earlier in the day at church we were approached by parents who had concerned looks on their faces. "We heard that you are having an 'open house' today for the kids," they said, half-jokingly followed by a good-luck-to-you and I-hope-you-know-what-you-are-getting-into kind of look.

 

Granted, we had to do some major cleaning up after the kids left (we do that every time we had guests anyway). But the kids were awesome and I think they did their best to keep clean and tidy.

 

You know what people say, about how you go into something thinking that you are giving but in the end you are receiving? That's exactly how I felt today.

 

So thank you kids, for the wonderful time today. And most of all thank you God, for the chance to experience your love through your wonderful little creations.

 

 

 

 

 





Resigned

Paid back my work debts after the long leave and ended up leaving the office at 10pm.

 

The highlight of Day 1 back to the office had to be.... my resignation. I was rather sad because I had grown to love this job, including all the tight deadlines which I have gotten used to.

 

And there is still so much to learn. While I'm looking forward to another phase in life and moving to a place where life would be much slower, I'm going to miss walking with a purpose, stretching myself to the max and learning new things every day at work.

 

But who knows? My life thus far has been full of pleasant surprises (thank you Lord) and I await the next challenge God is putting me up for. In the meantime, faith, patience and obedience.

 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

 

Amen!

 



 

Interrupted Mr. Jang's in-flight movie nidway to take pic.
Loved the transition from frown to forced smile. Ha.

Train a child in the way he should go...

"They have short attention span." " They lack joy in worship." "They don't know how to pray." "We need more parents' involvement in the children's spiritual life...." "We need more teachers!" "Got more budget?"

Interesting thoughts from about 20 of us at the Children Ministry retreat held at the British Club today. I had thought that only the worship team (where Mr. Jang and I were involved) faces such issue since we deal with a big group of kids but in fact, the smaller care groups are facing just the same challenges as we do.

My 1000km/h brain immediately thought of the solutions to all these and I was wondering why PC, who was organising the session, kept asking us to hold discussions on the solutions. I realised after lunch that she wants us to think through why we are here in the first place: Our purpose (the "mission" of Children Ministry), Our product (we actually want the children to be disciples of God who produce more and more disciples!), and Our priorities (building an atmostphere of love, a dependence on prayer, a tripartite relationship with parents and the larger church, a word-centred ministry and inculcating the proper knowledge of Christ and the Gospel).

And then we think about Our processes - do we want more parents-teachers interaction, do we want to plan local missions to orphanages and old folks homes, do we try to have a greater alignment of adult worship and children worship? All these will have to be thought through with the first 3 Ps in mind.

The session was peppered with funny moments too - thanks to Mr. Jang. Our team tried to come up with hilarious acrostics e.g. for the values of Children Ministry, we had "iSWAT" - i) not "I" but "others", ii) Servanthood, iii) a heart of Worship, iv) Applying biblical wisdom to life and v) Togetherness in prayer, sharing of each other's burdens and encouragement.

I was also secretly glad that Mr. Jang and I were in the same team - more that just being husband and wife, I think we complement each other well in that I take down notes and do the writing while he does the talking (what he is good at). Also got to learn much from H and EK, who had loads of insightful thoughts.

The session was finally over after long discussions and presentations (and loads and loads of food!) The road to building an effective Children Minstry won't be easy with so many distractions for the kids today, but at least this team of dedicated teachers will persevere to the end despite occasional burntouts! A demonstration of servanthood indeed!

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it." - Proverbs 22:6

Jayesslee in CHC 2 (on 9 Jul 2011)

Have always loved their voices.

Their testimony here is very touching. Maybe because Mom also had cancer before, I can somewhat relate.

Thank God, that He gave Mom another chance at life and to be a testimony of His love - being a volunteer on weekends and a bible study leader on weekdays.

And yes, rejoice in all circumstances!

"Surprise!" says God.

"I sent you an email. Read it before you open the letter," B said.

I said a timid "OK" before turning to my comp. It was bonus day (or so they called it) and bosses were handing out letters. But he joked that some of us might need to start packing our bags after opening our letters.

I am about six months into the job and I still haven't received a confirmation letter/email yet. Although HR said no news is good news (meaning confirmation might have already happened without you being informed in this company), the worrisome part of me still went "oh no, is he going to explain why he can't confirm me due to headcount freeze/restructuring etc?" :/

The email read something to the effect of B thinking I did a good job during the short time I am here, and he wants to reflect that in my salary.

I did a double-take when I saw the new figure in the letter. Not because it is a sky-high increment (it isn't), but because it is much more than I expected, given that it's supposed to be pro-rated (if any at all). And certainly it is more than what I think I deserved.

Am once again amazed by all the wonderful surprises God is giving out from time to time. Deeply humbled, and very thankful.

What's your storyline?

Am on 2-days MC from a mild case of food poisoning - technically, 1.5 days since I went back to work this morning and am going to continue working from home today. But it's good to be away from the office. Enjoying the peace and quiet at home, and the ability to just sit in a clean toilet as and when I need to (though my 屁股really开花ed from all the passing of all the what-have-yous). But at least I don't feel like vomitting already. I hate the nausea feeling.

Sunday's sermon touched on our life's storyline. Do we allow God to write the script? He is in fact the script writer of our lives. Sometimes, we deviate from the story he wants us to be in and hurt ourselves, as well as others around us, in the process.

How many times have I done that? Do I actively come back to God's storyline of my life?

In the past, I find it hard to tell what God wants me to do in my life. At decision making points, I would "pray" then haphazard a guess. I have no idea if that decision is right or wrong. Just something that I thought God would want me to do.

But as I grow older, I think God is teaching me how to seek his advice and to look out for the answer to my prayers. I begin to see "signs" of  where He wants me to go, what He wants me to do. And the purpose of putting me in certain situations, both for my own good and for the benefit of others.

Life hasn't changed much since I moved to my new job. In fact, the workload is just as heavy, if not heavier. But I certainly sensed a change in me, something that tells me and reminds me often to slow down, appreciate the things around me, and not to take things so seriously all the time. I feel that I am beginning to enter into another stage of life, going beyond what I used to see into something deeper, a certain sense of peace that can be felt amid the chaos I see.

And I think that is the character God wants me to be in my story. My storyline is being written by a wonderful Creator, and I just need to concentrate on playing my part and be the one He wants me to be!

20th anniversary 万岁!

Mr. Jang and I emceed for gugu and gucheung's 20th anniversary dinner at Shangri-La hotel today. It was a wonderful evening of worship and it felt great to be in a room full of people that shared a common love for God.

At the end of the day, a marriage definitely needs to be centered on God in order for it to work. He needs to be involved in every process of home building.

Praise God for gugu and gucheung's lovely marriage! :)

Ouch! Grr! Eh? Oh!

I love this cartoon shared by Hwei today. No, God doesn't miss anything. He is shouldering our burdens for us and He occasionally allows one stone to hit us so that we will remember to look back and Him and know that He is there.

I have prayed that God will bless me with enough good things to keep me going in life, and enough setbacks to keep my feet firmly grounded. I learn to call for help desperately and learn to wait and trust, to fully rely on His help. I know from experience that it always come when the time is right.

Life is not always rosy but I know who is there walking with me. :)

Reflections

The above pretty much summed up my current state of mind.

I will wait on the Lord. I'll learn my lessons well. When it's time, He will tell me what to do, where to go, what to say.

Loving the unlovables (postscript)

I think I might have found the answer to the question I was asking myself a few days ago - how to love the unlovables.

Today's sermon was "You don't have to fail". It was preached in the context of the book of Corinthians, where Paul was faced with unfair accusations about his gospel work. On top of giving a background of what happened during that era and why Paul wrote those letters, DRG also shared with us a real life example of a pastor who was falsely accused of not being there for his church members. Although he was eventually acquitted of the charges brought against him, he felt deeply unappreciated and taken for granted for his hard work, and as a result of his bitterness, his church was weakened.

I remembered this example because I learnt today that what life does for us, depends on what life finds in us. We are to have a clear conscience, a forgiving heart, and a triumphant faith. When faced with unfair criticism and accusations, we are to first make sure that our conscience is clear by not letting unwholesome talk come out of our mouths but only what is helpful for building other up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29). Secondly, we are to forgive those that hurt us by placing their feelings before ourselves and reaffirm our love for them, lest Satan has a foothold on the church and attack with our judgmental attitude. Thirdly, we should continuing serving with the surety that God is leading us, come what may. Our competence comes from God, and we do not fight for victory but from victory.

Going back to my earlier question, the lesson learnt today then is simple. Yes, there are unlovables all around - you and I are sometimes one too. But love them all the same. Build them up by saying encouraging words and give due consideration to their feelings because for all we know, they are probably already feeling bitter and frustrated about the way they behave too. And remember, we don't need to fight as victims in unfair  circumstances, because we are already victors in this life.

It is with this sense of enlightenment that I prepare to enter another week of what I would have termed as "chaos" earlier on. Now, I think it is God's way of telling me: "Now that I have given you the answer to your question, go and put into practise what you have learnt this week." 

My reply? "Sure, Dad. I will probably fall along the way but I know you will always be around to step in where necessary.  In case I got discouraged and can't see you amid the crowd though, just remember to give me a wave."

Heavenly reminders

God really works in AMAZING ways.

I was at Comex a few days ago and was contemplating whether to trade in my HP mini to offset the price of a new one. The cost of trade in is probably just 50 bucks, but I was thinking then better trade in than to leave it unused at home. Mr. Jang tried convincing me to donate it to Filo, our church's community outreach arm. I was thinking then who would want a second hand netbook since its processing power is not that good, but I listened to him anyway. When we asked Joshua, one of the Filos coordinator, on Sunday whether they need a second hand laptop, turns out that one of the needy family was indeed asking for it a few days ago and it just so happened that we have one to donate. Really praise God for how He always make things fall into place!

To add on, I was actually feeling pretty "home-sick" at work because I really missed my colleagues from my old office. The new work environment is nice and the people are friendly, but they work differently and I am still in the midst of adjusting to the new environment (actually, am thinking that I am doing pretty well given that it has just been one month). And today, just when I was again missing the meeks folks, the new guy came in and it turns out that he used to be from meeks eons ago and he know YC, dajie, Julia, YS, Mr Woon etc! And I was thinking, Oh God, this has got to be YOU. You always answer to my needs when I least expect it! There was this huge feeling of gratitude, and also shame when I realised how little faith I have. It's like God sending me a gentle reminder on a basic truth: Where God leads, He provides.

The sermon on Sunday was "Down but not out". One of the points that left an impression on me was that nothing is coincidence or fate. Everything is by divine appointment and in times of need, God always sends comfort in various forms to strengthen us. So dear Lord, remember we are humans and humans forget. Remind me to not stop believing and to keep the faith going.

Gratitude

Have cultivated a habit of taking notes during sermon so that I can flip back and remember what was taught. Last Sunday's sermon on gratitude from Psalm 136:1-26 was particularly meaning to me cos I have the tendency to feel grumpy. And I thank God for the timely reminder to make a conscious decision to focus on the blessings of God and have a heart that overflows with thankfulness.

I should learn to be thankful for everything, even things that people always complain about, by looking at it from a different angle. Bitterness and depression will not grow in the heart of of a thankful man! Jiayou jiayou!

Updates

I should really be writing about my new job, how it's been like having gone through two full days of intensive learning and on-the-job training. But putting it down in words would make it sound rather depressing - what with ending my first day of work close to 11pm, and being already in operation on my second day. On the bright side, I felt really encouraged by the fact that I am still feeling positive about the whole experience. I am getting a taste of what I wanted. Good or bad, I know I will persevere.

Like what one of my church friend said, "Give God a free rein in all that we are. Don't shortchange God and limit Him with our sins, prejudices, doubts and fears. Let's experience His fullest this week!"

Work aside, I want to pen down some thoughts regarding the recent Italy trip. The weather was superb and the amazing summer sale took our breathe (and savings) away. But above it all, it was really the quality time spent with hubs that made the whole trip unforgettably fantastic. It was pure sweet fun, us not having to worry about the pile of work waiting at the office when we get back from our leave (though we did joke about not having a job when we come back). I think I haven't had such a good time since God knows when. I guess what I really want to say is, nothing beats the feeling of being with someone you love undistracted. I hope that as I start on this new job, I will remember to take it easy and not let work take over my life like how it used to be. I know I really have to put into practice this personal choice of family above everything else, and I pray that God will grant me the strength to overcome those bad habits of mine!

If God is a boss...

There is no "if" actually - God is THE boss. But let's just put aside the fact that He is the boss of all and imagine Him as a normal employer. I would say He is one who stretches His staff to the maximum. Shortly after I said I want to contribute more, He dished us with greater responsibilities in the children ministry, by letting us take on the whole group by ourselves on alternate Sundays from July onwards.

The first gulp is for not having the luxury of all teachers around to manage the hyperactive kids anymore. The second gulp is for not having Howard around to play the guitar, which means we either have rely on CDs, or for me to play the piano. I personally don't like the CDs because the music tends to drown out the children's voice. On the other hand, that leaves me with 2-3 weeks to at least bang a few songs on the piano.

It's probably God's way of a half-year work review for us. He's saying, you have been trained on the job for the past six months now. Time for you to step up and do REAL work, so that my other officers can take a rest. Fair enough.

I'll give God the answer I give to all bosses. I will try my best and work hard. Please let me know how to improve.

Heritage Race 2011

Fun was the last thing on my mind when Uncle PY approached me a couple of Sundays ago to join the Heritage Race. For one, work was the first thing that came to my mind when I was asked, since I sometimes need to spend weekends doing submissions/speeches/events/MRs. Two, past church activities I attended is a tad (no offense indeed) cheesy, and I wasn't sure if I am game for another one. But I signed up eventually, mainly to do my part to support what the church organised since response was not enthusiastic despite the publicity.

God must have known that I had my doubts, and He is determined to prove me wrong. From the start of the race to the finishing point, I sensed the amount of effort and sincerity the organising committee had put in to organise the whole race. There were some hiccups on the ground, of course, like any other events would have, but the overall running of the race was smooth. I was especially impressed with the two-way communication element throughout the race, with regular facebook and SMS updates, and the attentiveness to our needs as particants, with a professional mobile massaging team and a buffet spread waiting for us when we reached the ending point. There was clearly a lot of thought process that went on behind the scenes, and it was much appreciated by the participants.

Saying a word of thanks to the organising team for their efforts is a given. Beyond that, I want to say that the race has motivated me to want to contribute more - to be part of the community that helps bring people even closer to God and other another through different platforms. I am pretty sure that in the process, I will also be greatly encouraged and strengthened in faith.

Thank you, my heavenly father

Such a coincidence that today's j network quiet time carries the same memory verse that we did at church camp but in Chinese. Thank God for constant reminders to trust and have faith.

倚靠神《詩篇》第二十八篇7節
28:7 耶和華是我的力量，是我的盾牌；我心裏倚靠他就得幫助。所以我心中歡樂，我必用詩歌頌讚他。

反省：
1. 人如何能全心全意倚靠神而不再憂慮？

TMC's church camp at Bangi, Malaysia

Mr. Jang and I went to "help out" at TMC's church camp in Bangi, Malaysia the past few days as part of the requirement under SU's course on children ministry. We were quite sceptical that we can do a good job as the complete materials arrived only a couple of weeks earlier and there was just no time to do a thorough read-through and practice in between our busy work schedules. And lo and behold, a surprise await us upon arrival. While we had earlier agreed that we will concentrate on teaching the songs and TL on the actual course materials, TL changed his mind and asked us to do the actual teaching only the night before the actual start of the programme (!?). I practically had to eat up and digest the whole book within one night, just to make sure that I know what I was going to teach the next day. For Mr. Jang and I, it was definitely the first time in our entire life that we are teaching a class. (There were some other issues with TL which we didn't agree with but that was a separate matter...).

By the grace of God, the kids were a lovely bunch to work with. The older ones were as usual more "cool" but they seemed to warm up to the games that we racked our brains to come up with. Seriously, I haven't skipped for the past ten years but I managed to skip AND recite a memory verse at the same time (yay!). We also managed to scrap together some materials for another memory verse game. The younger ones were undoubtedly the sweetest. They volunteered for almost anything and the kind of energy they had just rubbed off the both of us. I love it most when they sing out loud, because it is a combination of enthusiasm, innocence and love for God.

It was a pity that the camp had to end just when we were getting to know them better and could call them each by name. I now understand why some people said they are very attached to the children they teach, because there is really a great sense of fulfilment and joy in engaging the young ones. The greatest take away I have from teaching at the camp is that, children can accomplish much if you trust them, and they do remember what they learn and can even teach you back. There is so much potential to be unleashed and I do hope they will practise what they learn. For Mr. Jang and I, I hope we will continue to have the same level of enthusiasm and passion for the children in our own church, as we did for those at the TMC camp.. and for the TMC folks (the adults esp the Choo family (Wennie), Kelvin & Poh Kit, Sherry, Alice, Anthony, Christina, Rev Bernard etc etc), hope we will have a chance to visit you guys one of these Sundays.

In His Love...

Photos:

Children sitting in their groups


Children doing group work


Mr. Jang and the groups' unshakable straw towers


Children doing sand art


Children rehearsing for the celebration performance