Who likes saying Goodbye?

Our MSO left us two weeks ago to further her studies. Although she worked with me quite closely for more than half a year, I realised with a tinge of sadness that I didn't grab the opportunity to know her better. I didn't know, for instance, how many siblings she has at home, what she likes to do in her free time, and what her dreams are. I realised that very often, I get so caught up with work that all I ever do is to talk about it. "Is the submission ready?" "How many awards are we giving out this year?" "Have we settled the issue with the caller?" "Can you help check on this?"

I failed terribly as a supervisor and a colleague. And unfortunately the realisation only hit me as she was saying Goodbye.

Maybe, that is the reason why people hate saying Goodbye. This is the time when you realised, or are reminded, of the good things that surround you but never have the heart to appreciate. This is the time when you wish you had taken more time to enjoy things that really matter, like good company. This is the time when you hope that you will have a chance to relive that experience all over again, with thankfulness in your heart.

And as I await my own turn to say Goodbye, to face my own mixed feelings of excitment, nervousness, nostagia, gratitude and uncertainty, I want to remind myself that good things don't come easily, just like good colleagues and good bosses, and how blessed I am to have worked with them.

Goodbyes are never easy, both for the one who is leaving and for those who are staying behind.

Corporate life?

I am a manager but somehow, I get quite a bit of bird blah blah too. Maybe the issue is not with the title, but how many other birds you have below you. No wonder some people said it's important to climb to the top. LOL. ^ ^

(I don't know who to credit this to cos I pinched it off my friend's FB page.)

Thank you, my heavenly father

Such a coincidence that today's j network quiet time carries the same memory verse that we did at church camp but in Chinese. Thank God for constant reminders to trust and have faith.

倚靠神《詩篇》第二十八篇7節
28:7 耶和華是我的力量，是我的盾牌；我心裏倚靠他就得幫助。所以我心中歡樂，我必用詩歌頌讚他。

反省：
1. 人如何能全心全意倚靠神而不再憂慮？

TMC's church camp at Bangi, Malaysia

Mr. Jang and I went to "help out" at TMC's church camp in Bangi, Malaysia the past few days as part of the requirement under SU's course on children ministry. We were quite sceptical that we can do a good job as the complete materials arrived only a couple of weeks earlier and there was just no time to do a thorough read-through and practice in between our busy work schedules. And lo and behold, a surprise await us upon arrival. While we had earlier agreed that we will concentrate on teaching the songs and TL on the actual course materials, TL changed his mind and asked us to do the actual teaching only the night before the actual start of the programme (!?). I practically had to eat up and digest the whole book within one night, just to make sure that I know what I was going to teach the next day. For Mr. Jang and I, it was definitely the first time in our entire life that we are teaching a class. (There were some other issues with TL which we didn't agree with but that was a separate matter...).

By the grace of God, the kids were a lovely bunch to work with. The older ones were as usual more "cool" but they seemed to warm up to the games that we racked our brains to come up with. Seriously, I haven't skipped for the past ten years but I managed to skip AND recite a memory verse at the same time (yay!). We also managed to scrap together some materials for another memory verse game. The younger ones were undoubtedly the sweetest. They volunteered for almost anything and the kind of energy they had just rubbed off the both of us. I love it most when they sing out loud, because it is a combination of enthusiasm, innocence and love for God.

It was a pity that the camp had to end just when we were getting to know them better and could call them each by name. I now understand why some people said they are very attached to the children they teach, because there is really a great sense of fulfilment and joy in engaging the young ones. The greatest take away I have from teaching at the camp is that, children can accomplish much if you trust them, and they do remember what they learn and can even teach you back. There is so much potential to be unleashed and I do hope they will practise what they learn. For Mr. Jang and I, I hope we will continue to have the same level of enthusiasm and passion for the children in our own church, as we did for those at the TMC camp.. and for the TMC folks (the adults esp the Choo family (Wennie), Kelvin & Poh Kit, Sherry, Alice, Anthony, Christina, Rev Bernard etc etc), hope we will have a chance to visit you guys one of these Sundays.

In His Love...

Photos:

Children sitting in their groups


Children doing group work


Mr. Jang and the groups' unshakable straw towers


Children doing sand art


Children rehearsing for the celebration performance

打气打气！

Not sure if it is a good or a bad thing but I find myself increasingly placing less priority on work. Like, I was hoping that I could find a paper over the weekend but the need to do some church-related stuff and the desire to spend some time with hubs and in-laws overweighed the guilt of not starting on that paper which should have been done last week. That is on top of knowing the fact that I would probably be swarmed with two speeches and other overdue matters this week, and that I will be taking leave on Friday and next Monday. Argh. I am so dead.

Maybe I will just lunch in for the rest of the week and try to work as efficiently as I can.

加油加油！

Tanjong Pagar Railway Station

I love places with a rich history and an old world charm. So when the newspapers reported that people are flocking to the Tanjong Pagar Railway Station before its closure on 1 July 2011, I texted hubs right away and said "Can we please please go take some photos, like this Saturday!"

Ok my photography skills ain't fantastic (seriously... and maybe I shan't even say that what I have are "skills".. oops)! But I do love taking photos of old buildings. Or to be specific, photos of people with old buildings. And I love posing or taking photos of people posing. Teehee. So here goes:

just another random day

Had a so-so day at work. Simply couldn't concentrate cos of all the emails that are flying everywhere and the follow-ups that need to be done. In the midst of all the mess, thank God I had sane colleagues to rely on, not-so-sane ones to laugh with/at, and just sufficient energy to get through the day. Indeed, Jesus is the rock!

(Did this in class today. Suppose to practise for children's camp two weeks from now. Haha. Am such a "sucker" for these things. Oh when will I ever ever grow up!) :)

By me:


By Mr. Jang (yes this big man loves hearts):

我的幸福

我,是幸福的.

我没有来自富有的家庭,却在很有爱和温暖的家庭长大.

我并不是很漂亮,但至少是健康的,也有健全的双手双脚,可以做很多喜欢做的东西.

我也不算是冰雪聪明,但后天的努力补上,亦可算是勤奋的一个人.

我,真的感恩.

因为我所谓的幸福, 已经得到了.

谢谢身边的每一个人. 也谢谢天上的爸爸.

Random au naturel photo: Loving the mask that SIL gave... heehee..

The wind of change at work

I don't think things could have been more dramatic. Within a short span of three days, I received news, piece by piece, that all of my bosses except one are moving to some other places. It's like sitting at home on a sofa and watching as a hurricane blows first your roof top and then the second storey away.

I don't think my heart can drop any lower, cos for all the stuff I have said about work, the frustrations and all, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely think that they are nice people despite giving us a lot of work.

Sigh.

And I think Boss knew especially that once she is gone, I will be planning my Great Escape (Part 3). No more Boss to keep an eye on me or advise me to stay on. Should I make my move finally, and will I get third time lucky?

I am feeling anxious, excited, worried, resigned and a bit spaced out at the same time. Hmmm...

11th attempt at sharing

Sermon 15 May 2011
Scripture: Luke 11:37-54
Theme: What destroys our ministry to unbelievers?

A person's motives, although not apparent to Man, are obvious to God.

Some are self-seeking, self-absorbing and self-glorifying, seeking praises of men rather than the praises of God through an over-focus on rituals and protocols. We engage in spiritual hypocrisies when our outward devotions are for show and do not come from within.

Sometimes we also get carried away by our own convictions. This sense of self-righteousness, which is deceitful and a misrepresentation of the intention of God, will cause believers to stumble and unbelievers to turn away. We should not be judgmental or be critical of others, or worse, make unfair assumptions of unbelievers. While we have various theological convictions, we must not force our convictions on others. We must not forget the big picture of God's love, or doing God's work together in different ways.

We must learn to stop seeing ourselves in the eyes of others. We must let go, trust God and receive criticism with humility. Learn to encourage one another, giving each other love, comfort and hope in God.

Pleasing God begins with a self-examination!

God's Phone Number

Hello God, I called tonight
To talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen
To my anxiety and trial.

You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me,
So I'll never feel alone.

I want to ask you please to keep,
My family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence
For whatever fate they're bound.

Give me faith, dear God, to face
Each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things
I can't change in any way.

I thank you God, for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall.

Your number, God, is the only one
That answers every time.
I never get a busy signal,
Never had to pay a dime.

So thank you, God, for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow.
Good night, God, I love You, too,
And I'll call again tomorrow!

- from unknown

my guitar history

New guitar at $288, thanks to Lil & Andrew's recommendation.

I bought my first guitar when I was in the university. My cousin Bob was in S'pore for a month and I wanted to learn from him. The interest died after he went back to HK. I sold the guitar away to a friend shortly after.

My second guitar was bought together with hubs. One of my ex-colleagues asked if we were interested to learn guitar together at the CC, and I thought why not? And so I bought the second one. After I completed one course (8 lessons), I stopped. BIL subsequently borrowed it cos he wanted to self-learn. Think he also gave up after a while. The guitar is now sitting in one corner of the storeroom. I didn't pick it up again cos I thought it's too big for a girl, maybe.

And now, I bought my third guitar - it's of a smaller size compared to the standard one. I have no idea how long my interest will last this time round. As usual, my bimbotic self told me to buy it cos it's got a really nice finish and the bag (that comes with it) is cream-coloured and looks prettier compared to the usual black plastic-ky looking ones.

I suppose I should set a goal for myself. To play simple songs at cell group? To play simple songs at home and get Mr. Jang to sing along? ^o^ Already, he feels that I have too many so-called "hobbies" or interest (which is not untrue). Oh well, pray pray pray that I have the time, passion, and patience to practice. Else, it might just end up as an "art piece" in my new living room, like so many things before it. Aha.

Almonn, 加油!!

Left office on time today cos I needed to bring Almonn to the vet. Gaga said her PIL and MIL observed that his hind legs are getting a bit weak, and he looked wobbly when he went for walks. So I went to the vet to check his state of health and to see if his wobbly legs are normal.

Turned out that his hind legs are really responding much slower than his front legs. An X-ray check showed that it's not a slip disc, so it might possibly be a growth, in another words, cancer. To be honest, I was very calm when the vet told me that. I only asked what my options are if it is really the case. Treatment, surgery or what? It did dawn on me that cancer will likely lead to death, especially when Almonn is considered an old dog already.

As I sat outside waiting for Almonn to come out (I could hear him yelping inside), thoughts of leading a life without Almonn came. Am shameful to say that I haven't really paid attention to him for the past few years. Didn't play with him even though he always come with his ball and his eager eyes, didn't bring him out for walks even though we have time, we even purposely tease him with "do you want to go out?" and get him all excited then the next moment we shut him back in the kitchen and say "bye bye!". We are bad owners! But he is always there. Sometimes he attempts to bite us... but most of the time he will just sit there and look at us. I always wonder if he is trying to ask us something, like "when are we going out again?"

Almonn my dear little buddy, I know you are staying strong. I think we are quite alike, sometimes we feel pain inside but we don't want to show it out and display a aloof nonchalant self instead cos we don't want to bother others. Oh well, know that I am proud of you all these years! And I think you are the most handsome dog I know! Keep your spirits up and you can fight off anything!!

Balloon ministry

This week's children ministry is on the use of balloons to convey your message to the kids. For the first time in my life, I managed to twist a doggie, a "gospel" flower, a snake, a bee, and two apples. My fingers hurt and my nails were scratched at the end of the lesson. But I think it's sooooooo cool. Too bad Mr. Jang was at work and couldn't make it. He missed out so much fun!

Mission failed again!

And so, to cut the long story short, my second attempt at The Great Escape plan failed... am feeling a tad sad that I didn't accept it in the end (and I know I will forever be wondering what if I had?)... but having said I am not giving up totally and am still staying open to whatever opportunities that may come.

I was encouraged by Faye the other day. James 1: 6-8: 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

I have sought the Lord's directions through praying, talking to family, and listening to advice. Now I shall learn to believe and not doubt the decision. Jiayou jiayou!

This is our washing machine! :)

The first piece of essential furniture (official) for our new house: Fisher & Paykel Smart Drive GWC12. A fully featured autowasher powered by the unique Smart Drive System. It is designed to preserve natural resources, offering auto water level, two water saver options and a favourite cycle for the ultimate in customisation... oh who cares, I bought it cos I think the design is nice.

the complain culture?

Many peeps are complaining about the house after they have received their keys. Cracked ceilings, cracked toilet bowls, gaps in the tiles etc. Ok lah. Maybe there are really defects in the house. The developer would have to fix them.

To complain about the wardrobe, the inward swinging grill, the colour of the tiles though... erm... peeps, didn't you already know that at the time when you purchased the house? I mean, if you don't like them in the first place, then don't buy the house, or make plans to change them after you get your house loh. No need to complain now mah. Unless, complaining has really become a bad national habit, like what they say?

For me, I am just thankful to be able to have a decent enough house, in a decent enough area. Many people our age in other countries probably couldn't afford a place that they could call their own. Most are just renting flats at exorbitant prices.

So my fellow young countrymen, don't complain anymore. If there are defects in the house, just point them out and be patient while the developer fixes them. For the rest of the items that are not done to your liking, just change them when you do the renovation.

Let's learn to cope with imperfections and find concrete solutions to them instead of complaining. It'll certainly make the country (and the world) a better place to live in.

Aaaaaaand the house has FINALLY ARRIVED!!!!

Went sniffing around the house like a puppy once Mr. Jang opened the door to our very first house. It wasn't fantastic (some of the finishing need to be touched up and the master bedroom was a tad too small for my liking) but hey, its OUR HOUSE!!!!! This is where we are gonna be for the next 5-8 years at least, I suppose?

Omg... What are we going to do? It's like being brought in front of a big white canvas and being asked to crack your brains to draw something that you would have to stare at for the next 5-8 years. Where should we start? What should we do? How are we going to visualise what it's gonna look like? What if we make bad decisions and live to regret it later on?

This whole process of design and renovation has been put on the back burner because we always say "wait for the house to come first" or "we must see how it looks like first". Now that it is here, right before our eyes, what should our next step be?

To be continued (soon I hope)...

(P/S: Tried using my body to measure the size of the bed. Have been eyeing the canopy bed in Ikea for some time now. Think it might hit the ceiling?)

陪著你走 - 盧冠廷

An all time favourite dedicated to hubs Mr. Jang who is still working hard in the office at 1.30am.

One of my childhood friends put up the modern edition on FB today, but I found the original version. The lyrics of the song is written by the singer's wife. I shall translate it to English, keeping the gist of the song. :)


陪著你走 - 盧冠廷 (I will walk with you)
曲︰盧冠廷
詞︰唐書琛
編︰CHRIS BABIDA

誰說　時間片刻變陳舊
(who says that time will quickly become the past)
全為我分秒亦停留
(the seconds and minutes will stop for me)
因我　身邊有你緊握我的手
(because I have you beside me holding my hand)

這份愛　誰說永不會長壽
(who says this love will never last)
陪著你一生到白頭
(I will be with you for a lifetime till we grow old)
都能　把心中星星閃得通透
(we can still make the stars in our hearts shine brightly)

陪著你走　一生一世也不分
(I will walk with you and we will never be apart)
天天編出兩雙足印　過千山過千海
(we will create two pairs of footsteps everyday and cross thousands of mountains and seas)
如果　走到這世界邊端
(if we reach the end of the world)
我倆已是無力前行　
(and we are both unable to walk any further)
跟我一起飛去
(please fly away together with me)
請你伴我同路去
(please keep me company along this journey)

confessions of a young (?) workaholic

The past month has been crazy. And I mean crazily crazy. I was practically working non-stop day and night (yes, I managed to squeeze some breaks in-between but all I could remember was me with the laptop, the laptop with me, me with a whole lot of newspapers, a whole lot of newspapers with me). I vaguely remember having proper dinners, probably because even when I was having them, my mind was on the 101 things that I haven't finished or even started doing at work. The only think that I could remember was that thankfully, I got my butt out of the chair and jog a bit on a regularly basis.

Ok, I know. My workload is probably not the heaviest, I am probably not the hardest working one, there are a million out there who are doing more and working harder, and so I don't know why I am feeling grouchy. I really don't know... perhaps the frustrations of feeling that sometimes, the work that we do is not as value-adding? that sometimes, I am questioning the rationale and the need to do certain things? Heck, a lot of things. And perhaps, the meaning of why I joined the organisation in the first place is slowing fading away.

Don't get me wrong. I love working. I love the adrenaline of working towards something and the sense of satisfaction I get when I accomplished an assignment, like the one which has been handed down to me when my colleague suddenly resigned earlier this month. Love knowing that I gave my all to what I did. So again, I ask myself, "Hey woman, what's wrong with you ah? Early menopause?"

The search for answer is killing me, as I wait in suspense on what I would do next. It's like I don't know myself anymore... It's like swimming in fast currents without knowing where I will be going or more importantly, where I want to go. Should I just follow the flow or attempt to head towards another direction? I may only find the answer when I look back a fews years from now. In the meantime, the urgent task at hand is to keep my sanity as best as I could.